bt..i personally like to live with females as (cd).. bt i have softcorner in my heart for man.. and… i feel that sometime i need only single man..no women…

Non-crossdressers are not automatically straight because they don’t crossdress, nor are crossdressers gay because they do. It’s too bad that so many people get all caught up in the whole “gay/straight” thing, anyway. Does it really matter? I mean to people other than insecure homophobes?

So, how can a straight man who crossdresses be attracted to, aroused, and masturbate when looking at other crossdressers, in other words, other genetic males in makeup and women’s clothing? The short answer is in the illusion of femininity and one’s attraction to that which appears to be female, even if only an illusion there of. One way to look at it is to question why anyone might be aroused by a series of flat images displayed either on a tv/computer screen or magazine? In reality, those images are nothing more than illusion as they are not actually people, but rather just colors and shapes on paper or an interactive screen that the human eye perceives to be photographic representation of that which the image depicts. In many cases, it is not the man being attracted to other men, but rather being attracted to the illusion of a beautiful female, even if that illusion is created by a male.

Back in the early 1990′s when tv talk shows were all the rage, I remember watching one particular show about calendar pin-up models. One of the pin-ups was actually a genetic male (with his genetic male parts intact) who happened to be a professional female-looking model and made a living as such. This model did not appear in transgender-oriented calendars, but rather in regular “sexy women in skimpy outfits” calendars that men display to admire that which the majority of men admire most – beautiful women. Does it make any man “fooled” by the feminine illusion that this particular female-impersonating model creates gay? Certainly not. Of course, in this case, men admiring the beautiful women would have no knowledge that what they’re admiring is anything but completely real, genetic women. I bring it up to illustrate how any straight man can indeed be aroused by looking at another man under these conditions.

If a crossdresser goes looking for photos of other crossdressers and finds it arousing, the knowledge of exactly what is being looked at is present – there is no being “fooled” about it, but the feminine illusion-factor remains intact. This gets kind of tricky to explain when factoring in exactly what elements are causing the arousal. The feminine beauty is an obvious factor – whatever is under the clothes and makeup, even if a genetic male, still appears to be female (or female enough, depending on the admirer). For some crossdressers, the act of crossdressing itself has an element of arousal. It is possible for crossdressers that experience sexual arousal (because of crossdressing) to also experience a level of arousal simply in knowing that what they’re looking at is a crossdresser. It’s a vicarious experience for them.

Will all (straight) crossdressers experience arousal in looking at photos of other crossdressers? The answer is no. Does it make a crossdressing man gay for being aroused by the images of known crossdressers? Probably not in and of itself, although there may be an element of bisexuality or bi-curiosity at play for some. That depends on what happens when the crossdressing man consciously thinks about the male parts of the crossdresser being admired. If the thought of a penis and any other masculinity under the clothes does not put-off the admirer, then there may indeed be at least some bi-curiosity going on. If it breaks the illusion enough to significantly diminish any arousal achieved by looking at a crossdresser, then it may be concluded that the arousal was all in the illusion of feminine beauty, period, and the chances of being bi or gay are very low.

Long as this response turned out, it is still just a very, very simplified and “nutshell” version of what may be coming into play when a straight crossdresser is aroused by another crossdresser. Like most things in life, there is no black and white answer to this, and not even shades of gray. When it comes to human sexuality and preferences, it’s more like the entire color spectrum, including non-visible forms of light, and then some. If I had the time, I would explore your question in a full and proper post, edited, polished, and filled with better examples, but I hope this helps a little.

In terms of looking at things from “their” perspective (as in, non-trans folk), I’ve already been there.  I know what that perspective looks like.  For most of my life, I lived in denial about who I truly am.  The mere thought of a crossdresser was humorous and something to poke fun at.  That’s what my peers taught me in my youth, and I’m pretty sure it works like that with most people.  We’re all taught what kind of personal traits are desirable and “normal” and what to laugh at and make fun of.  We may or may not even really think something is funny, but still laugh out of fear of rejection for thinking or feeling differently than “everyone else”.  This kind of “follow the leader” or “herd mentality” game is more a part of our youth than adult life.  There is usually some kind of social pressure for conformity present even in adult life, though.

The point I’m trying to make is that if people are *taught* what “normal” and “not normal” is, then people can also be taught that “normality” is little more than the facade pretty much EVERYONE wears; a practiced and fake manner of behavior intentionally broadcast to others in order to avoid the unpleasantries of being ridiculed for whatever unique traits lay underneath.  Everyone has secrets to hide, usually completely harmless things they just don’t want to be given a hard time about.

Perhaps someone is afraid to admit they’re a big fan of a particular recording artist that might be unpopular with their friends/peers, so whenever there is discussion about that particular artist, they poke fun and laugh with everyone else.  On their way home from work (or school, or whatever), they enjoy the music they’re too afraid to admit in public while in the relative privacy of their own car.

The gravity of example I just spelled out is absolutely featheright compared to the social stigma of being a genetic male who exhibits feminine behavior and appearance, but the concept is similar enough.

No, I’m not “normal” – not by a long shot.  When I say that, I don’t even mean the feminine aspect of my life, either.  What the hell IS “normal”, anyway?  It changes from place to place, society to society, corporate environment to corporate environment, country to country, year to year, etc.  There IS no universal normal.  Centuries ago, even crossing gender lines was completely normal.  Seriously – spend some time researching that one.  It’s only been in recent centuries that gender lines were established (by who exactly, I’m not sure), and enforced with a vengeance… at least with men.

To hell with “normality” and that complete and total FAKE notion that anyone is really normal.  People tend to be cruel to other people, especially when they feel it may gain them respect or “cool points” in the eyes of others.  People often make fun of others for being “fat”.  Is being overweight normal?  In my town, very overweight people are a common sight.  Because the percentage of overweight people is relatively high, there’s nothing unusual or “not normal” about seeing them out in public.  ”Normal” or not, there are a lot of people who ridicule others for being “fat” on a pretty regular basis.  Kids pick on other kids for being fat.  Teenagers pick on anyone for any reason, but “fat” is a sure fire thing to laugh about and make fun of people for in that age group.

What’s NOT normal is this whole idea that everyone has to live according to the expectations of others…

Ok, getting too long winded on this.  I understand your sentiments, Wendae, and I understand why you feel the way you do in this regard.  I just hope you don’t ever allow yourself to be filled with all that bs society tries to drive into our heads everyday.  Everyone has secrets and keeps those secrets a secret to avoid ridicule from others.  If you keep secrets, too, does that not just make you as “normal” as everyone else?  What does it matter that the secrets are?

In regard to bashing and rejection, people bash and reject others all the time for a number of reasons.  In short, people do this to “punish” people into conformity.  People who treat you like this are openly letting you know that their company isn’t worth the dog crap stuck to the bottom of your shoe.  It never feels good to be laughed at or ridiculed, but knowing who is and who is not worth your time is valuable knowledge indeed. :)