http://home.netcom.com/~docx2/AGF.htm

Turns out a lot of women get turned on by experiencing themselves as sexy and attractive.

And why shouldn’t they?

It’s just society’s general sexual repression and “fear of being laughed at” that keeps many genetic women from ever admitting such self-attraction. It’s a very natural part of human behavior (in many), even if not consistent with that which society is currently comfortable with acknowledging.

I’ve read accounts from plenty of crossdressers who swear left and right it’s NEVER about anything sexually arousing. I think that is true for some, and that others are just afraid of “what other crossdressers will think” if they admit to there being sexual gratification involved, even if only sometimes. Even among those who exist as a social taboo, it can often be taboo to discuss some of the realities.

About my wife – I think people sometimes get the wrong impression that we enjoy the “perfect marriage” because she is accepting of my feminine side (and even encouraging at times). We’re much like any other married couple, though. Maybe crossdressing isn’t a problem, but plenty of other issues creep up. We have our moments – trust me! This is something I’ve been meaning to write about in greater depth. An accepting wife is great, but that does not equate to a perfect marriage by any means.

I often prefer to stay enfemme, at home with Madeleine sometimes for days, without being physically aroused, until I have to be in male mode to be out doing business, or something where I’d get real grungy, and don’t want to mess up my beautiful clothes, or get my long (wig) hair caught in something, or catch fire on the barbecue. Then as I change I sometimes allow myself to be aroused and masturbate. Is it Madeleine’s way of saying goodby for now? It just feels like a completion of the cycle. But I’ll still wear her undies under my jeans, just to keep that little smile, that reminder that she’s always with me, a part of me. And because her underwear just feels better than mine.

So, a long winded way of saying, that I have always been a sensual, tactile, and sexual person. So Madeleine and I, we both have a strong sex drive and a desire for fulfillment. So is that self love? If so, it feels right to me. Isn’t healthiest state of mind, and our ability to love and accept others as they are, is directly related to how much we are able to love and accept ourselves? Not until we learn to love and accept ourselves completely, even the parts we don’t nessessarily like about ourselves, will we be able to truly and completely love another, and life itself. It is not selfish because our capacity to give of ourselves to others is directly related to our ability, and willingness to receive, and accept.

Call it selfish unselfishness.

Thank you Gabrielle! -Love Madeleine

P.S. I too, have to admit to being slightly jealous of you and your wife’s relationship. I hope, while I’m still healthy and able to enjoy it,(I too have early stage prostate cancer), I hope I will be fortunate to have the right woman come into my love who can love and enjoy and accept me as your wife does you. She sounds like a dynamite lady.

P.P.S. Another reason to love (being) Madeleine. I not only feel better, I look at least 15 to 20 years YOUNGER as a woman than I do as a man.

Must be all that hair ‘n’ makeup…

In regard to gays thinking that straight crossdressers are just gays in denial or just a fetish-thing, I’ve heard (some) gay men also profess that bi-men are just gays who are afraid to go all the way. People tend to believe only that which exists in their own life. People of greater intelligence will grow beyond that knowledge which exists in their own life and come to accept that people everywhere are DIFFERENT. Differences do exist whether we can identify with them or not. Understanding that is very important. That kind of knowledge came to me late in life, but I’m grateful that I did finally get it, even if it took me a while.

Seriously finding a place at all is so hard as a crossdresser. At least with the local Gay Lesbian Trangender Alliance they tend to really not understand transgender issues that aren’t linked to being gay. The local gay/transgender community (they are kind of rolled into one here) is less than understanding about hetero crossdressers to the point of suggesting that they are simply in denial about there sexuality or are simply into sexual fetishism.

I also understand there is real pressure put on those that are straight (or bisexual) that do try to participate with the local transgender community to be gay. I briefly flirted with the idea of going dressed to some local transgender venues (usually more like weekly/monthly scheduled events mostly at gay clubs) but what i have learned from friends that are gay and involved in those communities (covertly of course) suggested to me that was not the best place for me to be.

I hate to say it but Hetro and maybe even Bi crossdressers seem only to have a real since of community online=(

Even among crossdressers, it seems almost taboo within the community (if you can call it that) to admit to being aroused by their own feminine beauty. To admit such might mean that they won’t be taken seriously by other crossdressers as they will be looked at as a “fetish dresser” rather than a “normal crossdresser” (as always, “normal” is a relative term). To hell with that. I’m not a fetish dresser, but if I find myself sexy, I’m going to look. If I become aroused, then I’m going to enjoy myself. Why not? My wife does. I believe many, many women do on a very regular basis. Must be some kind of really weird fetish among sexy women, huh? *wink, wink*

Thank you it was an interesting read.

The point I’m trying to make is that there is a big difference between dressing up nicely (which often means “sexy” in my book) to look nice, and attempting to be “sexually provocative”. The latter is something a bit different in my opinion, and includes the way in which one carries herself/behaves. I believe you and I are on the same page in this regard, Kathryn, or at least do not differ greatly. I did want to clarify a few things that may not have been descript enough in my write up though.

In regard to my middle name, yes, I very feel lucky to have my wife, for many reasons. I thank God for her in my life every day and always let her know how much I love her.

I’m sorry that the women in your life have been rather conservative on the sexual side. To be honest, until Mrs. H. came along, the same was true in my life. I do not say this to boast or brag in any way, but she is very uninhibited when it comes to her own body and sex. If it were not for our sexually repressed society, I believe a lot more women would also be this way. My wife however, has never been one to follow “society’s rules”. She is refreshingly independent in her thinking and many other aspects of who she is.

Myth #7 is an obvious one and something I’ve been a little hesitant to explore on my site until recently. I do not want this website being tagged as “adult” or “unfriendly” by the search engines because of the mention of sex and/or sexuality. I’ve been trying to keep things informative and tasteful, but elements in our wonderfully sexually repressed society sometimes sees things differently.

First off, I will speak from a male’s point of view, one probably as direct and outspoken as you say your wife is. I am a firm believer that when one (men or women) dresses in a sexually provocative manner, they are “asking for it” when someone checks them out, or even flirts with or makes a pass at them. I am not suggesting that this is an open invitation for the cruder forms of these, including open staring or cat calling. I am simply stating that it is a societally acceptable sign of someone being receptive to an advance. In fact, I find it rather rude that someone might dress this way, yet in some cases, rudely or coldly shut someone down. (I’m also not suggesting that Mrs. H behaves like this when the advance is mistaken, but it’s a subject I address from time to time, since some people seem to be offended that someone’s taken notice of their attractiveness.) Naturally, I support anyone who needs to be direct when others just won’t take the hint, or are crude.

That said, you’re absolutely right, your wife is simply lovely. I do hope you’ve considered changing your middle name to “Lucky.”

Second, I have been fascinated with this subject. Though I won’t go into details, I will suffice to say the women I’ve known have been very sexually conservative – not in the traditional sense of “what goes where,” but specifically in how they do when and where. Essentially, sex remains only in the bedroom, and it stays there, period.

Anyway, wonderful post, and I look forward to Myth #7 being posted. This does open up a view to the world of women that I’m afraid I was never able to discern for myself.

I’ve always been jealous how women (gg’s) get to dress and look so pretty. Of course, that jealousy is mostly replaced by crossdressing these days. :) Like my wife, you (and many other gg’s), I also want to look into the mirror and really like what I see – which is something that doesn’t really happen in guy-mode. As Gabrielle, I really love the reflection I see in the mirror and feel so good about myself! It is what I call truly feeling alive.

My wife, like yourself, very much enjoys my feminine side. From browsing through girly mags and clothing catalogs, to getting out shopping – I can appreciate with her many things that “normal” men don’t.

Thanks for the compliment on Closet Talk, too. :) **blushing**

I have a real soft spot in my heart for women like you – the one’s who love AND appreciate their crossdressing husband. I was luck to end up with one myself… and I wish more cd/tg folks could as well. My love and respect to you and “Green Eyes”. :)