Monthly Archives: August 2009

daily life, website news

Taking a Much Needed Break & Assessing the Future

9 Comments

burning the candle at both ends

For the past six months, I’ve been unwisely burning the candle at both ends, spreading myself dangerously thin, and have little to show for all of the blood, sweat, and tears poured into my efforts. For me, this website isn’t a hobby, but rather an important platform in which to educate, entertain, communicate, and bring about positive change.

Between long hours at my day job, commute times, a strict daily exercise regimen, household chores and other responsibilities, there is little time left for much else. In order to maintain a frequent publishing schedule of quality content, I’ve been putting my personal life aside: neglecting responsibilities, sacrificing personal happiness, testing the strength of my marriage, and literally loosing sleep to keep up with it.

Unfortunately things haven’t panned out. My approach is flawed, and energy reserves dangerously low. I need to take a break, regroup and reevaluate.
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crossdressing, crossdressing myths, rants

Crossdressing Myth #8: Crossdressing is a Choice

51 Comments

crossdressing myths

Plenty of (non-crossdressing) people seem to believe that crossdressing is nothing more than a personal choice. They think that for whatever reason, some guys just decide to go against the grain of society and wear women’s clothing and makeup. Maybe they also believe that we enjoy the ridicule and rejection we often face as a result of our “choice”.

Myth: A crossdresser chooses to dress in women’s clothes, doesn’t need to, and can also choose to stop. Fact: Crossdressing is a very necessary outlet for feminine self-expression in some men. It is no more a choice than choosing to be left-handed or right-handed.

It’s difficult to find a good analogy that will properly illustrate the inaccuracy of this crossdressing myth. There are many comparisons that can be made, but few carry enough weight to suitably convey the reality. Because most (non-crossdressing) people are accepted in society as they are, it is nearly impossible to explain the fundamental need for self-expression and the devastating negative emotional and psychological consequences one can suffer when deprived of their ability to do so.
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crossdressing, rants

The Cost of a Bad Makeup Day

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bad day

Getting all done up in full makeup is a pretty big investment on two fronts, or so it is for me. Makeup isn’t cheap, and it takes a lot of makeup to transform Gabe’s rugged man-face into the soft and feminine face of Gabrielle. It also requires significant time to get all that makeup properly spackled on and detailed just right. Therefore I have to plan ahead, making sure that I have enough makeup on hand and a window of opportunity available in my busy life.

Unlike many genetic women, applying makeup isn’t something I get to practice on a daily basis. Sometimes it doesn’t quite turn out right and there’s a price to pay.
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crossdressing, Dear Gabi Advice Column, mental health

Dear Gabi, I Do Not Understand Crossdressing

10 Comments

Dear Gabi,

I did not nor do I now understand crossdressing. I was raised very religiously and naive as to what the world’s about. When I met my husband, 30 years younger than me, his mom would say that once we got together his bisexuality and crossdressing would not be there, but to my horror it was an every day thing and that he wanted to be a girl.

I’ve tried for all these years to deal with it give him some of my clothes, watch porn, deal with him chatting with his gay and crossdressing friends that don’t understand where I’m coming from. I’m severely depressed and this has only driven me farther and farther into it. I had problems before but this has escalated it.
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daily life, humor

Was That an Explosion in Our Backyard?

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radio active meteor from outerspace

My wife and I were in for the night and decided to watch a movie together on our big screen, 5-speaker TV. “The Watcmen” was our film of choice. It seemed interesting and neither one of us knew much about it beforehand.

Several minutes into the movie we heard a very loud BOOM! It sounded like it might have come from the back yard. Although I’ve never heard what a meteor sounds like when it crashes, it sounded a bit like that. We were both startled and I paused the movie. What the hell could have made such a noise? Was our house still fully intact?
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crossdressing, Dear Gabi Advice Column, mental health

Dear Gabi, Am I Wrong Wanting to be Who I Feel I Am?

3 Comments

Debbie DanielsDear Gabi,

I have been dressing since my early youth… 5, again at 8 and again at 12 and pretty much weekly after that I am 51 years old and married with one 5 year old child at home. I only wear panties here at home for that is all I own… no male briefs… nada. My wife knew of my crossdressing before we were married and accepted me. My problem now is that I can not dress any longer at home because of our child, so I take it elsewhere. Mainly to a gay friends house . I am hetero and my friend hits on me all the time as Debbie but never as Dave. For the past 3 – 4 years my dressing en femme has become very aggressive, and honestly that is all I want to do. I am at a point right now in that I would like to start hormones and transition to female, for that is who I truly feel inside. Dave has only been there out of fear, and to take care of his family. I actually get very depressed if Debbie does not get to play and even am Bitchy. I feel the urgency more so in my life today than I did years past. What to do? Debbie is who I befriended in my adolescent years and have came to love immensely. Even my family. Sisters, love having Debbie around to go out with and such.
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crossdressing, crossdressing myths, rants

Crossdressing Myth #7: It’s Just a Sexual Fetish

29 Comments

crossdressing myths

There seems to be no shortage of people who think crossdressing is nothing more than a sexual fetish. The origins of this myth however, are rooted in reality, at least to some extent. Sadly it’s been blown way out of proportion by people who don’t understand what they’re talking about, and little has been done to fill in the blanks of reality. Please allow me to clarify things for you.

Myth: Crossdressing is just a sexual fetish because crossdressing men are aroused by dressing up and do so for sexual pleasure. Fact: Although crossdressing is a sexual fetish for some, the vast majority of crossdressers do not experience any arousal as a result of crossdressing, nor is it a factor in their desire to do so.

Because this crossdressing myth is of a sexual nature, it is necessary to discuss some aspects of sex and masturbation. Although I will do so tactfully and on an informative level only, if this kind of subject matter is offensive to you, it may be advisable to discontinue reading… and you should probably never consider a career in the medical field. ;) If it is the truth you seek however, read on. Sex and masturbation are simple facts of life, just like eating, sleeping, and exercising. It is society that chooses (and teaches us) to make some topics taboo and others acceptable discussion material.
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