I am a bit surprised to hear that your psychiatrist has expressed disapproval, unless there is more to their objection than the limited information presented in your comment. I don’t believe that you can be institutionalized for simply being a crossdresser, so unless there other significant factors in facing such a possibility, I wouldn’t worry about that.

It is probably in your best interest to start working toward your own freedom and secure your own residence, provide for yourself, etc. You need the freedom to live your life as you choose.

Your parents may have a difficult time thinking of their daughter in a masculine light, but with patients and education (about the realities of crossdressing as opposed to the vast misunderstandings), you may be able strengthen your relationship with them and gain acceptance. It’s not always possible to open people’s minds about things that are so foreign or undesirable to them, but maybe you can at least reach a middle ground at some point.

Generally, I encourage people to be who they feel they truly are rather than try to live by the standards of others. It’s not easy going against the grain of popular social “norms”, but your chances of being happy and content in life are much better if you allow yourself to BE yourself rather than try to live a lie just to please others.

Gabi: I think it is good to speak out for yourself when your parents are trying to convert you. For me, I was born a girl but now decided to crossdress, but my mother doesn’t approve of it because she believes sick people dress up in opposite sex’s clothing. She even discussed with my Psychiatrist and said she doesn’t approve of it either. How should I explain to my mother that I don’t want to be institutionized for being a crossdresser yet being the crossdresser at the same time? I’m 24 years old FTM CD and I can’t wait into I move into my own living space.

However if you are not planning to share that part of your life with your parents all it will solve is the getting caught part… it will not make things easier in the short term or even in cases the long term. It is possible that it is more rewarding, or at least more definitive.

But it is more about your motives as to how things will turn out. If you are looking for the easy path not to stress over getting caught, I don’t believe that is the right direction. If you are looking to share yourself and your entire life with your parent, then you should plan how you are going to do it in the gentlest possible way.

Good luck to you either way.

The question posed by this visitor is short, simple, basic, and very common among young crossdressers who are still living at home with their parents. I hoped that more people might offer their stories of how they came out to their parents – either while still living at home, or after moving out. The advice offered will be helpful to “Anonymous” and many others who find their way to this post in the future.

The whole question of telling others is interesting – as a transsexual, I didn’t have the option of not telling others. Like it or not, there is a period of time in transition where one becomes very, very public – whether or not we want to.

As I prepared myself for the inevitable conversations with those I cared about most – family, close friends and so on – I agonized over each and every one of these revelations. Each for different reasons.

The technique I found worked the best for me was to “script” the conversation with each of these people individually – imagining the various responses I thought I might encounter, and then thinking about how I might respond in turn. (without turning it into a shouting match)

It took me a long time, and a lot of effort, but by the time I was ready to begin telling my story to others, I was pretty well prepared for the worst possible outcomes, and I was pleasantly surprised with the basically positive responses I did encounter.

That said, a crossdresser has an array of options available to them that I did not. Do others even need to know about your crossdressing? Not everybody’s needs for expression oblige them to be public about it. How public are you now? … and what is the likelihood of someone who knows your parents encountering you ‘en femme’?

One last question – are you prepared to be an educator? When I transitioned fully, I found myself uniquely in the position of being just that. In my company’s history, I was the first person to transition there – and I spent a lot of my time educating my peers about what it is to be transsexual. The more public you make yourself, the more this becomes something you will do, or you will pay the price for not doing.

(as an aside – I am keenly aware of the divide that often exists between transsexuals and crossdressers. Please accept my words in the spirit of sharing in which I offer them.)