I think a lot of it has a lot to do with how well adjusted we are to begin with, and that includes the effort it takes to develop a reasonable degree of socialization in our chosen (and sometimes alternate) gender roles.

I try my level best to “lead by example” – I am who and what I am, and I try to be a decent person to those around me.

I don’t move in CD circles really – so my experiences are mostly with others who are working through their own transitions. As a result, I’m looking to form a friendship that is built around common interests – the shared experiences of severe GID is a jumping off point, but I focus on other longer term attributes that enable me to build a richer relationship with them.

Usually I find that in such circumstances, people come along quite nicely … and the few who simply ‘don’t get it’ tend to fall away from my circle naturally.

Regardless of the infinite possible interpretations of “normal”, we can usally pick up its meaning in the context used and how well we know the person using it. In this case, I understood what my friend meant and was happy to be “normal” in his eyes. :)

Ever since i was a child i never liked the word ‘Normal’.

In every group there is a term for ‘Normal’. In a Geek group Normal would be knowing alot about computers, but if you had a ‘Normal’ person from the Football team come in? They would be considered a complete freak, and vice versa.

I think being normal on the Whole, as a Human, is what people think is correct and right.

However, if everyone was normal, we’d still sitting in a tide pool somewhere.

Anyway, it’s great that your friend could see the positive side of CD’ing. Maybe he will encourage more people to show their Femme side.

Hugs – Christina

@ Erin P – It sounds to me that you’re spelling out the kind of personality type that is just plain annoying in any form of gender and/or gender expression. I’ve known plenty of genetic women who act exactly how you spelled out – right down to the hand motions, exaggerated neck and head movements, and show of absolute self-centered, flamboyant, in-your-face bitchiness. There are a couple of women like this on my wife’s side of the family. lol It’s sad, but it does make me laugh because they’re so ridiculous. I have yet to meet a drag queen that behaves like this, but I have no doubt they’re out there. I think we’ve all seen them on TV (the show COPS comes to mind).

In terms of having issues to deal with, who doesn’t have some? Don’t beat yourself up over it. :) For what it’s worth, you didn’t come off as sounding like a witch at all, but rather someone who is quite annoyed (and rightfully so) with certain negative shows of idiotic and totally ridiculous behavior. I’d say that’s pretty “normal”… there’s that word again. :)

To many times I have witnessed the head wiggles, the hand stop signs, and the loud faux indignation that always seems to accompany whatever perceived “disrespect” (a word that is quickly catching ‘got’ as the most overly misused word in the English language). While cringing, I have watched Queens take offense and make a huge scene over the simplest and most reasonable request. Like “Can you please keep it down” or “Can you please watch your language”, and it always seems, that after a shouting match, it ends with “You just jealous because I look goooooood!” Usually broadcast by a beach ball in an ill fit sequin dress, whose wearing too much eyeshadow, with nasty troll feet pouring through low heel strappy dress sandals.

Sorry to sound like a witch, but I moved to a trans neutral to even in places trans friendly area, in part with the idea of testing the water of coming out while there. I will grant you that was almost 20 years ago. I started wearing women’s clothes like shorts and very neutral gender women’s shirts, but abandon the idea because I didn’t want to be associated with that crowd.

I guess I see the point to the degree that in real ways these people keep too many of us in the closet. I know they did for me. Well still do. I am only out to 3 people when I was ready to come out period, by say ’92.

I don’t know. I don’t like pushing societal norms on anyone. At the same time I don’t want to be associated with the woman hating queens. Then when I do think about confronting these people I have flashes of the drama that will happen or worse that they will figure out that I have a transgendered soul and out me tying me inextricably to a segment of our community that I loath.

Hee hee looks like I have some issues to deal with huh? Sorry to get so heavy here.

@ Staci Lana – You’re welcome. I’d say the same to you. :) As I’ve said before though, remove the trans aspect of my life and I’m probably still not even close to “normal”. However if the sum of being intelligent, wise, creative, productive, smart, knowledgeable, level-headed, down to earth, etc., etc. equates to “normal”, then count me in. :)