The photo you see above is of my wife, the fabulous Mrs. H. If you’re new to this site, she’s a genetic woman, not a crossdresser (like me). Although she agreed to pose for the photograph, it is not uncommon to find her admiring the beauty she sees in her own reflection in the mirror. This is especially true when she’s wearing something sexy.

What does this have to do with anything? When it comes to the misconceptions about crossdressers by mainstream society, a lot, really. Please note that sex and masturbation will be brought up in this article to some extent – not in a gratuitous way, but rather informational and as a matter of fact. You may want to stop reading now if informational sexual content is offensive to you. In saying that, I can’t help but wonder if people also skipped out on sex education in school because that also dealt with matters of sex and (gasp) masturbation.

I would like to first mention that my wife has given her permission to publish the intimate content within this article and is fully aware of what it encompasses. She understands my intentions and agrees with the message I would like to convey.

She likes to dress sexy
Mrs. H. is an attractive woman. Short miniskirts and revealing tops are often the norm when leaving the house. This was more the case years ago than now, but dressing sexy was, and to some extent still is, her preferred choice in personal appearance. Her revealing attire is not intended to attract the attention of horny guys, even though that is often the result. She’s a cute little thing, but also tough as nails. Guys who misinterpret her sexy appearance as an invitation to hit on her are always greeted with a cold, abrasive earful from my outspoken wife. She can really handle herself and then some, trust me. The point is that Mrs. H. likes to dress sexy because she enjoys looking good, period.

Society has a problem with sex
Expression of sex and sexuality is oddly frowned upon in today’s society. Of western cultures, America is probably the most sexually repressed. It’s not quite as bad as it was 40 years ago, but this is still a highly sexually repressed society. Case in point: (in America) it’s acceptable to show someone literally getting their head blown off by a shotgun in movies and video games, but it’s not acceptable to show the act of sex, or even a woman’s frontal, naked body. So graphic violence is acceptable, but the most natural thing to all mammalian life forms on this planet, sex, is not. I could write volumes about this alone, but it’s not the main point of this article. It is however, an important point in the dots I’d like to connect – a point that extends well beyond this one write-up.

Aroused by her own reflection
Sometimes when looking at herself in the mirror, my wife can be very playful in how she poses, admires her body, and even touches herself. Although she’ll do this in the nude, more frequently it is when she’s dressed sexy. There are times when she’ll get all dressed up sexy simply to enjoy looking at her reflection. The experience is often very arousing (to her) and can lead to other things.

She masturbates fully clothed
My wife and I enjoy an active and healthy sex life. Even so, both of us still masturbate from time to time. With some exceptions, most humans do, regardless of how often they have sex. Perhaps the most interesting thing about how my wife prefers to masturbate is that she’ll usually do so when fully dressed in sexy clothes. The process begins when she gets all dressed up (including hair and makeup) and seductively poses in front of the mirror. I’m not going to get into all of the details, but the act of masturbation itself is usually done without removing any items of clothing.

Women are attracted to feminine beauty
Admiration and attraction to her own sexy form in the mirror is not unique to my wife. I’ve observed this behavior in other women, although to a lesser extent. Previous girlfriends exhibited similar conduct, admiring their own beauty and playfully posing in front of a mirror, before going out on a formal date. When accompanying my wife to clothing stores, I sometimes observe other women admiring themselves in mirrors near the fitting rooms, in ways that (seem to) go beyond simply identifying if something fits well. In personal conversation, a few other men I know have reported similar behavior in their wives – the specifics vary, but the self-arousal theme is present. It is pretty clear that my wife is not the only one essentially turned on by her own sexy reflection in the mirror from time to time. Although it may be uncommon, I highly doubt she is the only woman who masturbates fully clothed, either.

Sexual repression and behavior
Around the house, Mrs. H. is pretty uninhibited when it comes to her own body. Because of society’s general level of sexual repression, some women will probably never consider the idea of admiring themselves in the mirror on a sexual level. They may feel it is silly, abnormal, sinful, or otherwise somehow wrong. The percentage of women who (sexually) admire themselves in the privacy of their own homes vs. those who do not is something I can only guess at, in addition to the numerous factors that come into play with each.

The point
When my wife dresses sexy, she does so simply because she likes the way she looks and feels good about her appearance. The fact that she can become aroused by her own reflection and sometimes masturbate while dressed sexy does not mean she dresses sexy as some kind of “weird sexual fetish”. A number of women are in fact attracted to their own image. The fact that is it not often discussed does not make it abnormal or unnatural. It’s just a sign of our sexually repressed society.

Where does crossdressing come into play?
If you’re a crossdresser, you probably understand why I’d bring this up. If not, it may seem like a bit of an odd topic. My hope is that this article makes an interesting read when it comes to the sexual repression of our society (mainly American) and a form of autoerotic stimulus that is rarely discussed. It is also necessary to have this write-up available for reference before publishing the yet to be completed Crossdressing Myth #7 (which I will link to from here after its publication).

Unfortunately, many of these sexy styles gave way to far more conservative fashions. Somehow “sexy” became almost synonymous with “slutty”. This is especially problematic for me because I really love dressing sexy. To the right there is an example of how I like to dress. I really love that outfit. It’s comfortable, I look good in it, and feel absolutely great about myself when I dress that way.

So how exactly did attractively “sexy” become cheap and “slutty”? There seems to be this notion that if a woman dresses too sexy, that she’s just trying to get guys horny, or she’s a slut, or prostitute. There’s a shame factor in dressing too sexy now. Why is that? Who cheapened sexy to slutty? Was it the fashion industry just wanting to sell more conservative styles? Was it insecure women constantly putting down other women who they felt looked better than they did by calling them sluts and whores? What happened?

If I choose to dress how I prefer to dress and leave the privacy of my home, I’d draw a lot of unwanted, negative attention. In order for me to blend in, I have to dress conservatively, or as I call it “femme-drab”. I really don’t like the whole conservative look. I exercise my ass off to look good and I sure as hell don’t want to have to cover it all up or dress in styles that I don’t find appealing. I won’t look good forever – let me show off what I got. What’s wrong with that?

Women’s styles have gone from ultra-girly and sexy to not-so-girly and conservative. Even today’s clothing that does reveal more skin still seems pretty unappealing, at least to me. Instead of showing off a woman’s beautiful figure, many of today’s styles effectively hide it. The whole “maternity” look is in style now. I keep waiting for it to go away, but it just keeps coming back in greater force each season. What happened to the waist line being… well, at the waist? Now the “fashionable” tops and dresses are draped like curtains from just under the breast-line and completely cover and hide the waist like a maternity top or dress would do. Yuck! I refuse to wear any of these styles. I don’t even like when my wife does, which luckily she doesn’t very often. It’s very unflattering and gives the illusion of a larger belly and wider hips, but most women seem to just eat it up. I don’t understand why, other than they simply follow the latest fashion trends, period. I’m not picking on anyone who actually enjoys this look, I’m just not a fan of it at all.

The increasingly popular women’s conservative look seems to be mostly confined to America (USA). Sometimes I watch the Spanish-speaking television network Univision. Their news broadcasts and TV shows are bursting with beautiful women, often dressed very sexy. You won’t find an American news broadcast featuring a gorgeous hostess wearing a low-cut minidress. Check out that comparison photo of a morning Spanish TV show (top) vs. a morning American TV show (bottom). Notice the difference in the women’s styles? Watch a newscast or telenovela (soap opera) on the Univision network and you’ll (usually) find very attractive women showing plenty of skin wearing sexy clothes. And guess what: it’s NOT considered slutty or inappropriate in their culture! So why then is it in the American culture? Sadly, I am starting to notice that maternity fashion spilling into women’s styles seen in the Spanish TV network. I’m hoping this trend will not continue.

The main point is: in (western) non-American cultures, “sexy” isn’t seen as a bad thing at all. If a woman dresses sexy and shows a lot of skin, it doesn’t mean that she’s “sending out the wrong message”. It simply means that she likes to look good, period. There’s nothing wrong with looking good… unless you’re a conservative-fashion, maternity-style loving American woman who sees “sexy” as “slutty”.

The miniskirt is certainly not dead in America. There are still beautiful women wearing tastefully sexy clothes and revealing plenty of skin, though not in the numbers there used to be. For the most part however, sexy is viewed as a bad thing and women tend not to dress as sexy anymore. Sexy and girly is out, conservative and femme-drab is in. Regardless of the current fashion trends or styles, I love to be girly and sexy. Unfortunately I’m likely to draw negative attention to myself in the sexy way I prefer to dress, and without good reason.

When I dress sexy, it does not mean, “hey – I want to get everyone horny because I’m an easy slut”. It only means, “I feel good about myself and like how I look when dressed like this.” Do I want to be admired for dressing sexy? You bet I do! Do I want to be lusted over? Uh… no. I dress to impress, not to arouse. The same was true when my wife used to frequently dress sexy. She loved how she looked and was not trying to attract men with it (as in, that was not her intent). She often got hit on for doing so, but she’s a tough woman and made it clear to men to leave her the hell alone.

I understand that there is a time and place for dressing certain ways. We dress differently at work that we might at home, or out with our friends. That’s fine for the most part. If I want to dress sexy in public on my time, there should be no problem with it. No one should be given a hard time for dressing sexy while doing their own thing. I also understand that not everyone wants to dress sexy or has a different opinion of what sexy is. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. The point is we should all be able to dress however we choose without being seen or labeled in a negative light for doing so.

I’m tired of the sexy look being translated as “hey – I’m an easy slut!” I’m tired of sexy being viewed as bad, improper, wrong, and all the other negative garbage people associate with it (mainly in America). Having to dress in a way I do not find flattering just to blend in and be left alone when in public is dull, boring, and constricting. “Slut” is an attitude and behavior, NOT a look. It’s time to make “sexy” acceptable again. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with sexy. If you think I’m an ugly t-girl from fashion-hell, ok – you’re allowed that opinion. If you think I’m a slut or look cheap because of the way I like to dress, then you’ve clearly got a problem and might benefit from seeing a therapist to address your insecurities and ill conceived opinions.

It’s bad enough I take flack simply for being a crossdresser. I don’t need any additional problems just because I like dressing sexy too. I may not truly pass as female in person, but I certainly don’t look bad the way I dress… not as bad as a lot of genetic women in my town might if they dressed the same. ;)

What’s your take on this? Have you made similar observations in women’s styles and fashions and how they are perceived by others? Do you like to dress sexy too, but fear what others will think or say if you do?

 
Fun fact: The word “sexy” appears in this write up a total of 36 times, including this fun fact and the title.