I met up with an old friend (in guy-mode) a couple of weeks ago. He was one of the small group of people I enjoyed the company of while en femme at my high school class reunion this past summer. Although I’ve known him for many years, he only learned of my feminine side at the class reunion, along with many of my former high school classmates.

The purpose of our meeting was to discuss some business venture ideas, but most of the time was spent chatting about personal interests. Being the first time we met up since I came out to him, there was a good deal of curiosity about this aspect of my life, which I was more than happy to discuss.

During our conversation, he made an interesting comment to me. He’s known a total of three crossdressers and pointed out, “…but you’re the only normal one.” He shared with me that the other crossdressers both exhibited negative, degrading feminine behavior in girl-mode – the kind of behavior that most women would (and trans folk should) find insulting. I certainly did.
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Posted by Gabrielle | 15 Comments »

In June of this year, I published a letter written to me by Anna, along with my response. Her boyfriend, Matt, was a crossdresser and Anna expressed her many questions about the topic. If you’ve got some time, I recommend you read the original post before continuing here. This is a follow-up about Anna and her crossdressing boyfriend, Matt… who turned out to be more than just a crossdresser.
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Posted by Gabrielle | 11 Comments »

Dear Gabi,

I have been under great stress at work. I still have a job but I feel trapped I can’t be me. You are free and have the support of your wife. I don’t know what to do any more, I can’t come out at work or I’ll be fired for being TG, I’m thinking of seeing a therapist but have a strong fear that if I use company med. insurance it may get back to the new owners of the company and I’ll be fired.

I have been hoping to find support in online TG communities. I’m not a kid anymore. I’m also 55 years of age and I’m not pretty like you and many other t-girls I’ve seen. I love your goth picture.

God if only I had the money to free me from working and the money to transition and live my true self as Margueritte full time, may I ask you how you can live and be both male and female with out the homophobic BS from people around you? Sometimes I think of taking a bottle of sleeping tablets and just ending it all. How do you handle the pressure and depression?

Trapped
Margueritte (more…)

Posted by Gabrielle | 12 Comments »

While browsing a local mall (en femme) and minding my own business, I noticed male employees of a T-Mobile kiosk up ahead staring me down with a rather unpleasant look on their faces. There was what appeared to be a customer being assisted at the time, but their focus was on me. From several meters away, I very clearly heard one of them say “There goes a faggot.” It was spoken louder than the rest of the conversation, indicative of his intent for me to hear it.

I would expect this kind of lowbrow behavior from immature kids and street thugs, but not from on-duty employees and representatives of any business, regardless if their own misguided personal views.

As mentioned in my previous account of browsing the mall en femme, I did not allow their bully tactics to ruin my day. They rattled me and gave me a good scare – good for them. I’m sure they’re very proud of themselves for their juvenile display of aggressive behavior toward a completely harmless person. Nothing has changed though. I’m still me, very happy to be who I am, and a little wiser for the experience.
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Posted by Gabrielle | 29 Comments »

Plenty of (non-crossdressing) people seem to believe that crossdressing is nothing more than a personal choice. They think that for whatever reason, some guys just decide to go against the grain of society and wear women’s clothing and makeup. Maybe they also believe that we enjoy the ridicule and rejection we often face as a result of our “choice”.

Myth: A crossdresser chooses to dress in women’s clothes, doesn’t need to, and can also choose to stop. Fact: Crossdressing is a very necessary outlet for feminine self-expression in some men. It is no more a choice than choosing to be left-handed or right-handed.

It’s difficult to find a good analogy that will properly illustrate the inaccuracy of this crossdressing myth. There are many comparisons that can be made, but few carry enough weight to suitably convey the reality. Because most (non-crossdressing) people are accepted in society as they are, it is nearly impossible to explain the fundamental need for self-expression and the devastating negative emotional and psychological consequences one can suffer when deprived of their ability to do so.
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Posted by Gabrielle | 8 Comments »

Dear Gabi,

I have been dressing since my early youth… 5, again at 8 and again at 12 and pretty much weekly after that I am 51 years old and married with one 5 year old child at home. I only wear panties here at home for that is all I own… no male briefs… nada. My wife knew of my crossdressing before we were married and accepted me. My problem now is that I can not dress any longer at home because of our child, so I take it elsewhere. Mainly to a gay friends house . I am hetero and my friend hits on me all the time as Debbie but never as Dave. For the past 3 – 4 years my dressing en femme has become very aggressive, and honestly that is all I want to do. I am at a point right now in that I would like to start hormones and transition to female, for that is who I truly feel inside. Dave has only been there out of fear, and to take care of his family. I actually get very depressed if Debbie does not get to play and even am Bitchy. I feel the urgency more so in my life today than I did years past. What to do? Debbie is who I befriended in my adolescent years and have came to love immensely. Even my family. Sisters, love having Debbie around to go out with and such.
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Posted by Gabrielle | 2 Comments »

There seems to be no shortage of people who think crossdressing is nothing more than a sexual fetish. The origins of this myth however, are rooted in reality, at least to some extent. Sadly it’s been blown way out of proportion by people who don’t understand what they’re talking about, and little has been done to fill in the blanks of reality. Please allow me to clarify things for you.

Myth: Crossdressing is just a sexual fetish because crossdressing men are aroused by dressing up and do so for sexual pleasure. Fact: Although crossdressing is a sexual fetish for some, the vast majority of crossdressers do not experience any arousal as a result of crossdressing, nor is it a factor in their desire to do so.

Because this crossdressing myth is of a sexual nature, it is necessary to discuss some aspects of sex and masturbation. Although I will do so tactfully and on an informative level only, if this kind of subject matter is offensive to you, it may be advisable to discontinue reading… and you should probably never consider a career in the medical field. ;) If it is the truth you seek however, read on. Sex and masturbation are simple facts of life, just like eating, sleeping, and exercising. It is society that chooses (and teaches us) to make some topics taboo and others acceptable discussion material.
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Posted by Gabrielle | 12 Comments »

This myth is fairly common among (unaccepting) loved ones of crossdressers and subsequently many crossdressers themselves. In online transgendered communities, countless times crossdressers have expressed guilt about being themselves sighting this exact myth as the source of their guilty feelings.

Myth: Crossdressing is a purely selfish act and the time spent crossdressing could be better spent doing more productive things. Fact: Crossdressig is no more selfish than time spent reading a good book, watching TV/movies, exploring a personal hobby, or any other activity of personal interest.

We’ll start out by examining the meaning of the word “selfish” and then get into why there is little merit to this myth.
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Posted by Gabrielle | 5 Comments »

The cable guy made a house call at the Hermosa household recently. When he spoke to greet me, I realized immediately that the gable guy was really the cable gal. My wife and I both mistook her for a him. Honestly, she really did look more like a him than a her. Just to be clear, I’m not picking on her appearance in any way, shape, or form – only indicating that she looked male based on her physical appearance alone. The point I’m getting to is how society is very accepting of women who dress and look masculine in appearance. Society is not accepting of men who dress and look feminine in appearance. Why does this only work one way and not the other?
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Posted by Gabrielle | 2 Comments »