Tag Archives: social rules

Trans Documentary: “Line in the Sand”, Vanity and My Personal Struggle With Gender Dysphoria

Line in the Sand
This short documentary by University of Rochester student and talented filmmaker: Hayden Freedman, explores being transgender in a society that doesn’t quite understand “transgender”. Trans woman: Natalie Robin shares some of her experiences in coming out, gender roles/expectations and discusses a rather questionable suggestion from her therapist.

Also included are interviews with my friend and mentor: Jeanne Gainsburg, Education Director for the Gay Alliance, and another trans woman you may be familiar with: me.

Natalie has a YouTube channel and Tumblr blog where she shares her transition progress, thoughts and feelings. I encourage you to check out her offerings and maybe send her a little love and support in a thoughtful comment.

Painful realities that are difficult to share
Rather than rehashing what the documentary covers (and rather well, I might add), I’m going to take this opportunity to talk a little about gender dysphoria and share my personal struggle living with it.
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Dear Gabi, What Should I Expect From Therapy?

Dear Gabi,

I have just approached a therapist about some sessions as I feel my crossdressing is starting to effect my relationship. My girlfriend is understanding in a way but is still not overly keen.

It is just me who will be attending, as we both feel there are issues I need to address which could all be linked. Short temper for no apparent reason like I get really mad about the most silly things. My girlfriend thinks it’s always before I need to dress. She does not want to see me dressed though. I think I need to get a good understanding of why I need to dress other than “I love that dress!!”. I feel I’m rambling on a bit so apologies for that. I don’t wish for it to go any further than our home but I don’t want to always be alone when dressed but not sure she will ever want to get involved.

I just wondered what is the main objective of this type of therapy. I am nervous and not sure what to expect.

Best regards,

Tina
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Happy Halloween 2009 from Vampiress Gabrielle

Vampiress GabrielleHappy Halloween 2009 (a day early) from your friendly neighborhood crossdressing Vampiress. Hey rides, bobbing for apples, haunted houses, costume parties, and trick-or-treating will be among the activities enjoyed by folks on this candy-filled holiday.

Halloween is often regarded as the “crossdresser’s holiday”. On this single day of the year, it is generally socially acceptable to venture out into public en femme without being ridiculed, harassed, or facing harm (from haters). Because a man dressing up as a woman is regarded as a simple “costume” rather than a social deviation, the rules are changed, if only for a short time.

In years past, I remember some of my male friends dressing up as women on Halloween. Their costumes consisted of ridiculous looking dresses, mismatched jewelry, a bad wig, over sized breasts, and absurd makeup (applied almost clown-like). I observed similar displays at various costume parties. In addition, the men behaved very much like men with only occasional feminine behaviors displayed, and usually highly exaggerated for comical purposes.
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Socially Acceptable Gender Expression

gender symbols

This an old argument among male to female crossdressers. Why can women dress in clothes that are considered feminine or masculine, whereas men can only dress in clothes deemed masculine? There are no laws about this kind of thing, but the socially acceptable factor has a lot of weight on how we can live our lives in the public arena.

Extending well beyond just clothes, it encompasses total physical appearance, behavior and mannerisms. I’ve put together a very basic chart to illustrate the socially accepted gender expression norms:
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