Tag Archives: gender

Trans Documentary: “Line in the Sand”, Vanity and My Personal Struggle With Gender Dysphoria

Line in the Sand
This short documentary by University of Rochester student and talented filmmaker: Hayden Freedman, explores being transgender in a society that doesn’t quite understand “transgender”. Trans woman: Natalie Robin shares some of her experiences in coming out, gender roles/expectations and discusses a rather questionable suggestion from her therapist.

Also included are interviews with my friend and mentor: Jeanne Gainsburg, Education Director for the Gay Alliance, and another trans woman you may be familiar with: me.

Natalie has a YouTube channel and Tumblr blog where she shares her transition progress, thoughts and feelings. I encourage you to check out her offerings and maybe send her a little love and support in a thoughtful comment.

Painful realities that are difficult to share
Rather than rehashing what the documentary covers (and rather well, I might add), I’m going to take this opportunity to talk a little about gender dysphoria and share my personal struggle living with it.
Continue reading Trans Documentary: “Line in the Sand”, Vanity and My Personal Struggle With Gender Dysphoria

“What the Hell Was That?”, He Asked His Friends, Referring to Me

Gabrielle's New Year Portrait 20142013 was a year filled with beautiful new experiences, new friends, personal growth and important life lessons. In 2014 I plan to continue working toward my goal of living life (full-time) as a trans woman and fostering much needed, positive trans awareness in society. Among other things, it includes taking every opportunity to attend to public aspects of life in my female form; as my true self (Gabrielle, not my man-facade).

The photo (upper-left) was taken just before heading out to make a few purchases from a local grocery store, and meet up with a friend at a local coffee shop. I ended up wearing a faux leather hat, which my wife, the Fabulous Mrs. H., recommended just before leaving the house. You can see the hat here in my Flickr photo.

Continued positive public experiences
I’ve gone grocery shopping several times over the last few months (in my female form) without a hitch. I’m happy to say it’s almost become routine and boring. Almost. I still experience some fear in doing so, but I know that the fear is a lie, and I choose not to listen to it. With an “I don’t care what people think of me” attitude, I just go about my business, and things tend to go very smoothly. No one has laughed at me in public in quite some time.

More often than not, the grocery store cashiers seem to be a little shy around me, or perhaps slightly uncomfortable. It’s an understandable reaction in dealing with a trans woman, which is something they probably don’t encounter in day to day life, and so may be filled with the usual misconceptions. Even though they’re a little quieter when dealing with me, and often make as little eye contact as possible, they’ve been nothing but polite and professional, and I’m pleased with that.

I’m a person, NOT a thing
As I approached the grocery store this past Saturday, a group of four teenage boys were making their exit. They stopped talking immediately upon noticing me, and made no effort to disguise their stares. Just as we had passed by each other and they were now behind me, I clearly heard one of them comment, “What the hell was that?!”, referring to me as the “that”.

Continue reading “What the Hell Was That?”, He Asked His Friends, Referring to Me

Dear Gabi, What Should I Expect From Therapy?

Dear Gabi,

I have just approached a therapist about some sessions as I feel my crossdressing is starting to effect my relationship. My girlfriend is understanding in a way but is still not overly keen.

It is just me who will be attending, as we both feel there are issues I need to address which could all be linked. Short temper for no apparent reason like I get really mad about the most silly things. My girlfriend thinks it’s always before I need to dress. She does not want to see me dressed though. I think I need to get a good understanding of why I need to dress other than “I love that dress!!”. I feel I’m rambling on a bit so apologies for that. I don’t wish for it to go any further than our home but I don’t want to always be alone when dressed but not sure she will ever want to get involved.

I just wondered what is the main objective of this type of therapy. I am nervous and not sure what to expect.

Best regards,

Continue reading Dear Gabi, What Should I Expect From Therapy?

HE Turned Out to be a SHE

cable van

The cable guy made a house call at the Hermosa household recently. When he spoke to greet me, I realized immediately that the gable guy was really the cable gal. My wife and I both mistook her for a him. Honestly, she really did look more like a him than a her. Just to be clear, I’m not picking on her appearance in any way, shape, or form – only indicating that she looked male based on her physical appearance alone. The point I’m getting to is how society is very accepting of women who dress and look masculine in appearance. Society is not accepting of men who dress and look feminine in appearance. Why does this only work one way and not the other?
Continue reading HE Turned Out to be a SHE

Crossdressing Myth #2: They Want a Sex Change

crossdressing myths

It is a popular misconception that because a man dresses like a woman, he wishes he was born as a woman or wants to have sex reassignment surgery (SRS). This is often the second question asked when crossdresser comes out to someone – just after being asked, “are you gay?” Myth: If a man dresses like a woman it is because he wishes he was one and plans to have SRS. Fact: Most crossdressers do not want to be a woman or have SRS, but rather crossdress in order to explore and express their feminine side.
Continue reading Crossdressing Myth #2: They Want a Sex Change

Crossdressing Myth #1: Crossdressers are Gay

crossdressing myths

This is probably the granddaddy of all crossdresser myths: crossdressers are gay. More often than not, it’s the first question asked of a crossdresser after coming out to (or being outed by) a non-crossdresser – “Are you gay?” It does get tiresome after a while. Myth: Crossdressers are gay because they dress in women’s clothes. Fact: Most crossdressers are straight, and some are gay. Ever wonder where this myth came from in the first place? I’ll explore that later in this article.
Continue reading Crossdressing Myth #1: Crossdressers are Gay

Socially Acceptable Gender Expression

gender symbols

This an old argument among male to female crossdressers. Why can women dress in clothes that are considered feminine or masculine, whereas men can only dress in clothes deemed masculine? There are no laws about this kind of thing, but the socially acceptable factor has a lot of weight on how we can live our lives in the public arena.

Extending well beyond just clothes, it encompasses total physical appearance, behavior and mannerisms. I’ve put together a very basic chart to illustrate the socially accepted gender expression norms:
Continue reading Socially Acceptable Gender Expression