Category Archives: tips and advice

The Savvy Psychologist and Transgender Awareness Done Right

Psychology has long been a topic of much interest to me. Over the years, research and study in this field has been immensely helpful in understanding myself better and maintaining a level of sanity in an insane world. My enthusiasm for psychology continues and there are so many handy resources to tap into, including a number of excellent podcasts.

About a month ago I discovered The Savvy Psychologist’s Quick and Dirty Tips for Better Mental Health. Podcast host Ellen Hendriksen, PhD, invites listeners to, “Meet life’s challenges with evidence-based research, a sympathetic ear, and zero judgement.” She offers “quick and dirty tips” using “practical psychology to help you be happy, relaxed and most importantly, yourself.”

Transgender 101: 6 Essential Questions and Answers
This week’s episode is about a topic near and dear to my heart: transgender awareness and education. In preparation for the show, Ellen enlisted my help as a consultant. As a fan of the podcast, it was fun to get involved behind-the-scenes and play a supportive role. Her dedication to providing useful information and treating the subject with dignity and respect was clear from the start, and very much appreciated. To say I was impressed with the end result would be an understatement. I encourage you to check it out for yourself here on the audio podcast and transcript page.
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Being a Successful Trans Woman in Public without Passing

Gabrielle Walking 2 2014-07-06

Passing without passing
The photo above shows me walking through a local mall carrying my bag of goods. That’s how I look to most people – just another random woman shopping in the mall. Until, that is, someone looks directly at me from 20 meters or closer. Contrary to the carefully chosen photos I post publicly, I don’t pass – not in person. Most people read me as trans without missing a beat. More importantly, most people treat me very well.

The right attitude goes a long way
Years ago, when venturing out into public I’d get laughed at every time. Getting laughed at, disparaged, and called names by homophobic/transphobic cowards made me self-conscious and fearful of going out. In retrospect, I understand the difficulties I used to experience.

Other trans women frequently told me, “It’s more about attitude than passing.” How can attitude affect how one is viewed by others? It took me a few years to figure out. Having the right attitude in public can be the difference between having an amazingly positive and enjoyable experience, or not. It’s a little like a magic trick, but it’s not magic. There’s something more powerful at work, and it’s not just attitude, either.
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Dear Gabi, My Wife Thinks Crossdressing is Wrong

Dear Gabi,

How best to handle it with my wife is my biggest concern. In the past I had felt that crossdressing was wrong and therefore had purged my collection several times. Now for me personally, I am comfortable with it. I had been trying to decide how to talk with my wife about it when she discovered.

Since then she has expressed the viewpoint/belief that (A) per the Bible and society crossdressing is bad and wrong. Absolutely no wavering on this so far. (B) She also believes that it is something that if you try hard enough you can stop doing it.. She has also stated from watching Jerry Springer show that all crossdressers will become gay at first and then that leads to all getting a sex change operation. For the most part she presents to me as these being absolutes.

She has also remarked that now all she can think of me as is Georgette whether it is just kissing or anything else. She also feels that if she would of given me sex more often then I would not want to cross dress. I have/had a web blog where I was journaling/logging my experiences. She wants me to get rid of that to. Currently I am doing that.

In addition to all this, I feel like she wants me to make all these changes and stop dressing and because she says it is wrong.

Yet at the same she does not what to consider or accept any offers for compromise.

Thank you,

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“Dear Gabi” Advice Column

Gabrielle HermosaFor some time now, I’ve pondered the idea of offering an advice column. Not about fashion or makeup tips, but rather for crossdressers and their loved ones who are dealing with confusing feelings and would like some guidance on the mental health front.

Most of my life has been spent analyzing and trying to figure out what this all means. Confusion, guilt, low self-esteem and depression used to be the status quo for me. It’s been a long, difficult journey to self-acceptance and inner-peace, one that I almost didn’t survive, but I made it and learned a wealth of knowledge along the way.

This website was started with the intent to educate people about the realities of crossdressing and dispel the negative cliches and myths. I try also to offer insight and guidance for crossdressers who are dealing with their own issues and generally don’t feel good about themselves because of this aspect of their lives. Publishing an advice column seems the next logical step. It will allow the opportunity for an additional level interaction and communication with visitors.

A Dear Gabi link has been added to the navigation bar up at the top. Questions can be submitted using the form on that page. The content of the submission page may go through updates as things get ironed out, but it’s a good starting point. I encourage you to take a look.
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Dear Gabi, I Have So Many Crossdressing Questions…

Anna (genetic girl) sent me an e-mail asking for some guidance with her personal situation. She’s agreed to share this publicly so that others who have a similar situation and questions may benefit from it.

Her original message has been broken down into small sections so that I can address each point directly:

I have so many crossdressing questions that I don’t know how to address. My boyfriend is a crossdresser…

You’re not alone, Anna. Crossdressing is very much a mystery to most people. I don’t have all the definitive answers (no one does), but I’d be happy to offer my personal insight and opinion.

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Reducing Calorie Intake Without Feeling As Hungry

glass of water with sugarless gum

Staying fit and trim is an important part of my life. My strict exercise regimen and minimal diet allow me to stay slim, maintain a good figure, and look attractive. In addition to the visual benefits, I’m also less likely to get sick and will age more gracefully than if I did not exercise and eat right. Some people are naturally slim. That is not the case for me so I have to work hard at it.

My own thin profile & flat stomach (seen below) is proof positive of a strict exercise regimen, diet and the benefits of sticking to it. If you’d like to loose some weight and get into better shape yourself, keep reading. I’ve worked out some very useful methods of cutting down calorie intake while burning off more at the same time. It requires discipline and long-term devotion, but it may not be as difficult as you think.
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