Getting Hit On By Guys

net admirer

Before venturing online as Gabrielle for the first time, I mentally prepared myself for the possibility of getting hit on by men or other crossdressers. Being a straight male to female crossdresser, I really don’t have any interest in being with or having intimate relations with another man or even another crossdresser – no matter how beautiful her female appearance is. Regardless, I’m married to a great woman, very happily, and our marriage is a 100% monogamous one.

It didn’t take long before I got hit on for the first time. It happened on my flickr account. The message wasn’t vulgar or anything. A man (not a cd) on flickr found my photos very attractive and expressed interest in “getting to know me better”. A quick look at his profile revealed that he was looking to meet sexy t-girls. It was a little weird that first time getting hit on, but not too bad. Honestly, I took it as a compliment. He found me attractive enough to want to “get to know me better”. Every girl (or t-girl) wants to know she’s attractive.

Even though I clearly spell out in my flickr and facebook profiles that I’m happily married and monogamous, I still get hit on from time to time. I guess they’re either not reading my profile or just don’t care. Either way, I’m ok with it. I appreciate the compliment and boost to my female ego.

A man hit on me today via my (rarely used) facebook account, which prompted this post about the subject. He’s not a crossdresser or even interested in t-girls as far as I could tell. The limited access of his profile revealed that he was interested in women, which I understood to mean he’s straight. He asked to see my pictures (they always do) and blew me a kiss. On facebook, full profiles are only available to “friends”, or at least my profile is set that way. He probably found my avatar image because we have a mutual “friend” or something. I decided to go ahead and send him a link to my flickr photos and also a link to my flickr profile which clearly states exactly who and what I am. I advised him to read my profile before looking at my photos. The rest is up to him.

I honestly don’t care if some guys happen to be lusting over my photos. That’s not why I put them out there, nor are they risqué in nature, but if anyone wants to look at my photos while doing whatever, that’s just fine with me. I just don’t want to know about it.

I know some straight crossdressers who get really freaked when hit on by men or other crossdressers. I think it gives them a homophobic moment or something. Not me. I prefer not to get hit on, but it’s really no big deal when I do. I’m not a homophobe and take no offense at all to being found attractive. I’m rather flattered that some guys/t-girls/crossdressers do find me attractive enough to want to “get to know me better”. It just ain’t gonna happen.

For the record, I don’t mind chatting with guys who find me attractive. So long as the conversation is just friendly and not about “what are you wearing” or “can I see more photos of you” (I really hate that), I’ll pretty much chat with anyone, if only for a few brief minutes. Just don’t get confused about who you’re chatting with. I’m a male to female crossdresser and not seeking romance or “the time of my life”. If you’re looking for “the t-girl of your dreams”, you won’t find her in me. Sorry. But thanks for the compliment.

18 thoughts on “Getting Hit On By Guys”

  1. I know how you feel Gabby. There is this one gent from Brazil or somewhere like that whom I can find offensive. He is not rude or overtly gross, but….well, he goes a bit far.

    I have told him straight out I am a straight guy, I appreciate this nice comments, but I am posting those pics for other T-girls to admire and critique, and for GGs to do that as well as possibly “get to know me”. GGs like an Abby Schuito or some other Gothic princess. LOL

    It is just hard for some people to fathom that.

    I had to delete a comment this gentleman left on one of my photos, which I felt bad about.

    I also have to ask though, do women really like being told what positions a guy would like to “drill her” and so on and so forth (different person who got blocked instantly :)

    I don’t mind what people do, I just don’t want to know about it, just Like Gabrielle.

  2. I am curious about the repost here. Did another “creepy person” hit on you?

    Oh and for the record, I only ask what others are wearing to see if we have similar tastes, or to get ideas.

    And if I see someone in an outfit that looks sexy but slightly uncomfortable I have to ask how it feels to wear. LOL.

    1. Sorry about the confusion, Pythos. No, I haven’t been hit on by another creepy person. lol Actually, I’ve been hit on by several guys since going online, but I’m used to it and don’t take it in a negative way – I usually just ignore it. Just experimenting with different ways to offer a richer discovery experience for visitors. :)

  3. Hi Gabrielle,I know what you mean when you get hit on,when I am out at bars & clubs I get men asking me for sexual favours, well I am a crossdresser but i am straight, I also get gay girls wanting to take my home , well I must admit I love the attention and I feel great getting all the limelight, but deep down I just want to meet a pleasent lady who will support me in my exciting hobby and I will give this lady 100% love and commitment…. lol jane Christine

    1. Thanks for commenting, Jane. :) Sorry to respond so late – I get so busy with life… things slip through the cracks sometimes. Glad to hear you get a lot of compliments when you’re out. Getting hit on may not be desirable, but at least it’s (generally) positive attention, right? :) I’m sure you’ll find that pleasant lady who will give you love, understanding, and plenty of support. Wishing you much luck in finding her… and who knows – maybe she finds you first!

  4. For me I love it if a guy finds me attactive, it means im passable, its even more lovely if the guy “claims” to not be bi or what ever.

    I dont consider myself to be bi and Im for sure not gay in “real” life. However when I dress as Natasha I find I am attatcted to guys, not other CD TV TG girls, but just men.

    I’d be interested to know if other CD girls have the same feelings as I do. And perhaps even why I feel the way I do when Im Natasha.

    I do like to try and totaly transform my looks of course, but also my manner, way of thinking, acting, interests, hobbies, and enjoy doing my best to act towards men as any girl would in social settings.

    Maybe its this transforming that lends me to wish, go, that extra step and be with a guy sexuraly.

    Any thoughts girls?

    1. Thanks for commenting, Natasha. :) What you describe, being straight as a man, but being attracted to men as a tgirl, is something I’ve heard from others before. Technically, it falls under the category of bisexuality, which is defined as “a romantic attraction to both males and females.” It’s been the topic of debate in online crossdressing forums. Some passionately insist that this is not bisexuality, but rather “gender straight” behavior, depending on the gender being expressed (by the transgender) at the time. Regardless of semantics, it’s not that uncommon.

      Based on conversations I’ve had with crossdressers who are attracted to men when they’re in female form, there seems to be more than one general psychological process at work. Some crossdressers are attracted to men, as in find men themselves attractive. Other crossdressers express more of an attraction to their own self being touched by a man, rather than to the man himself. Some crossdressers are attracted to, and romantically interested in other crossdressers, but only the feminine side. Some crossdressers, like myself, are only ever romantically interested in genetic women. As I often describe it, we are more like a lipstick lesbian when in female form. There are variations of everything I’ve described, and then some, but those are some of the general categories I’ve picked up on, personally.

      All analysis aside, people simply like what they like. So long as there is no deception taking place, or cheating, harm, etc., then it really doesn’t matter which sex someone is attracted to, does it? I’m not sure the “why” matters as long as one can take part in a romantic relationship that is meaningful and rewarding to them and their partner.

  5. Thank you so much for your comments. I found it interesting your statement
    “gender straight behaviour”.
    That’s basically what I regard Natasha to be acting out, if a guy asks my sexuality (and as we know guys come right out and ask such personal things). I just reply, “Natasha is a straight girl”, as when I am in female mode I regard myself as just a normal girl and for me it’s normal for a girl to like pretty dresses, shoes etc, and with that men.
    I know the “normal girl” is not a PC comment to make, but…
    And you’re correct if it’s not hurting anyone, and both Natasha and the guy enjoys the moment, so be it

  6. But one other thing I love about being Natasha, is the opportunity to leave the horrible male life behind for the night.
    I mean it’s just so nice to be able to drop the agro of a male, the aggression of a male, and so on, and just be softer, kinder, and yes perhaps even treat a guy as I feel a woman should treat a guy.
    I mean when I’m Natasha I just become this quite girl who is happy with a smile on her face, and if someone is unkind I just turn the other way. I even notice when I’m driving to a venue, I let people pull in front of me, I have no competiveness in me, I don’t care if I’m late, it’s just a totally different feeling. I’m calmer in my manner I listen more closely to people if they have something to say.
    Even my interests change totally, I don’t know maybe I’m just a good actress, or maybe there’s something in being a woman.

  7. Hi Natasha,
    You are exactly right, when I am en femme everything is very peaceful and relaxing and just enjoy being pretty. I am so into to women, I just love them so much but I do jump to the other side no and then. Women always grab my attention (I don’t care if Brade Pitt is standing right next to a women)I think you get the picture. I love being Danica all drimped up…it feels so good, I just need to take this more public as it no fun just driving around. As far as getting sexually arouse when En Femme, never happens to me, I really enjoy talking to people when dressed up. My problem is I have a very altheltic upper body build plus 5′-11″ (6′-1″ with heels) does not really help either so I need to keep things on the “DL”. I am working to get my make-up perfect, the posture.,.etc. I love being a crossdresser and tend to think we are the cutting edge of new culture that will be accepted by society in the near future, everyone I have met (CD’s/shemale/transexual are some of the nicest people..I just love them! In closing can anyone tell me if there are underground parties going on (Silicon Valley) for CD’s, Transexual’s, shemale? It would be so awsome to get together and just party and talk to each other.


  8. I’ve thought about this myself. I’m en femme as I type this. I’m strongly attracted to masculine men at the moment. To me that’s weird, since when I’m in male mode it wouldn’t occur to me to think of men sexually. And yet at the moment I’m sneaking peeks at pics of men making love to women and wishing I were one of those women. When I’m not in feminine mode I’m interested only in women -and strongly so. When crossdressing it HAS to be a nice, fit, clean-cut man. Sometimes I worry that my psyche is fracturing and that frightens me.

  9. I am a Government Executive and have had fun with make-up and girl’s clothes since the 6th Grade, and have also had many discreet yet enjoyable cross-dressing experiences right thru my post graduate MBA work. Your ideas and the comments are similar to my early feelings about TVs and men for my formative feminine years. I enjoy life, and myself, in a more meaningful, relaxed and deeper way when I am transformed into “Victoria!” I also like my male self and his accomplishments, yet my personality really “sparkles” and connects with others when I and in drag have “girl talk” and other meaningful conversations with good looking women who also appreciate heavy make-up, classy accessorized dressing and feminine activities and habits!

    HOWEVER, once “Vickie” had achieved her “look” and her feminine persona, in terms of hair, eye make-up, lipstick, jewelry, long manicured nails, perfume, soft feminine voice, stiletto heels and fashionable clothes, I STILL felt that something was holding me back from achieving full femininity, and it turned out that was my need to staunchly proclaim in fear that I was a “hetero drag queen!” When a cute guy flirted with me in a bar late one night on a business trip, bought me a nice goblet of good wine, held my chair for me, lit my cigarette, and had a warm, discreet, suggestive conversation, my resistance began to melt, and I actually invited him to come back to my hotel room to have some fun!

    Well, it WAS fun, he was gentle, discreet and safe, and it fulfilled my feminine desires beyond my expectations to be treated like a “lady” and reciprocate by giving him pleasure as the “date” that he had just “picked-up” in a bar. I still do NOT “identify as gay, I avoid gay bars because they are loud & obnoxious, and I do NOT have feelings for men; I really like women. Yet that last step of being a woman for a man in bed (or in their car, or some other safe place) brings me to a deeper sense of inner, “girl-like” satisfaction because I do not let the need for a “hetero” label stand in the way of being a (almost) complete woman.

    When the “date” is over, I just “take them off” and put them away like my clothes, wigs, make-up and jewelry, with NO regrets. Thank You for letting me share my inner thoughts and feelings with you and your other readers. I hope I help you all to realize that this is NOT a black & white, open & shut issue, but that it lives in that magically “Gray Area” where Life, Love and Happiness can survive!…..XXOO, “Victoria”

  10. Victoria, thanks so much for that post. You had the courage to do what I have fantasized about for a long time. It’s the giving that I crave, not to be used or anything like that. You put it perfectly “being a woman for a man in bed”. luv Stephanie

  11. As a lifelong c.d.I’ve been hit on a few times, always in person, as I don’t keep much of a web presence.Most of the men manage to fit ‘I’m not gay, or anything’, into the first few sentences. I am quite flattered, but not interested, so I never try to bruise thier egos, just thank them and say ‘no thanks’.
    One guy however sticks out, and always will, cause he was the perfect ‘married,kids, drives and s.u.v. to the burbs everynight’ kind. I could tell that he had spent a great deal of time getting the guts up to enter an lgbt night club, and approach a girl. He bought me a drink, and we chatted, and told me about his desire to try a t-girl. He showed me a box of condoms he had bought on the way, and offered to spring for an expensive meal, and a room at the four seasons. He was SO sweet and nervous, I really felt for the guy. I let him down as easily as I could and mentioned that if he REALLY needed it we were close to a well known
    trans hooker area. I also gently told him how difficult it is to pick up a t-girl just for sex, and he looked like a sad puppy. We parted company with a kiss, in the parking lot, and he wandered toward the red light district, but I have a feeling he didn’t get there, just not the type.
    I’m a bi bottom, and I’ve never felt so much like offering up some mercy sex, but I don’t do one night stands, and know in my heart, that his desire was better left as a fantasy unfulfilled.
    My biggest chuckle, aside from his adorable naivete, was he told me his name was JOHN.

    1. Hi Celeste. Thank you for sharing your experience. :) I rather enjoyed reading that. There is something beautiful in the whole thing that really touched me, and I think you handled the situation with grace and integrity.

      John sounds like a kind and generally good natured guy with some unfulfilled curiosities. I’m hoping he chose not to become a “John” that night, or any other. Regardless, I’m sure you left quite a positive impression on him.

  12. Getting hit on by guys? I am a straight guy, but when en femme, I am attracted to Tgirls. I love female bodies, but with male genitalia and a Tgirl mind! However, being hit on by a guy makes me feel pretty, attractive and even more feminine. So, in general, I like it. The problem is most men are idiots, sloppy drunk, or both. As a “mature Tgirl” I have a lifetime of experiences. It was and is rare to find a man I would say “yes” to, which I have on occasion when there was mutual attraction. It has be awhile! Sex with a man, as a woman, did make me feel ultimately feminine. Being able to make him crazy with desire, made me feel like I had achieved a level of femininity I had never before reached. It was more mental than physical pleasure. Seeing his hardness going inside me with that lust in his eyes, put me on feminine cloud 9. That being said, I prefer the intense feminine passion of two T-lesbian lipstick lovers over anything. That is too hot to describe!! As for saying “no” to a man, live the golden rule.

    1. Everyone is different, Bryan. I’ve read many accounts of tgirls who, in their guy form, are only interested in women, period, but in their feminine form, they are romantically interested in men. To each, her own. We’re not all cut from the same mold. But that doesn’t stop people from making assumptions about “all” based on a limited knowledge of a few, or just one.

      Perhaps a good comparative example is that all women are *equipped* to be prostitutes, and some of them, in fact, are. This does not make *all* women prostitutes, just because they’re all equipped for it, and some choose to. Likewise, just because people once believed the world was flat, it never made that true, either. In the end, people generally believe whatever they’re most comfortable with, regardless of reality. It’s not sane, but it is human.

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