On November 16, 2013, after returning home from a transgender support group in Syracuse, I revealed to my wife that need to transition. This came long after I had figured out it was the only way to save my own life. Explaining this to my wife was terrifying. It was the most difficult conversation I’ve ever had. There was a lot of crying – most of it mine. I think both our hearts broke that night. I know mine sure did. It wasn’t just my heart that broke… I broke, period.
Unlike when I came out to my wife as a “crossdresser” in 2008, coming out as a trans woman in 2013 didn’t go so well. She doesn’t consider herself a lesbian and doesn’t want to be in a romantic relationship with a woman (or trans woman).
Continue reading One Year Ago, I Came Out to My Wife a Second Time – As a Trans Woman
Passing without passing
The photo above shows me walking through a local mall carrying my bag of goods. That’s how I look to most people – just another random woman shopping in the mall. Until, that is, someone looks directly at me from 20 meters or closer. Contrary to the carefully chosen photos I post publicly, I don’t pass – not in person. Most people read me as trans without missing a beat. More importantly, most people treat me very well.
The right attitude goes a long way
Years ago, when venturing out into public I’d get laughed at every time. Getting laughed at, disparaged, and called names by homophobic/transphobic cowards made me self-conscious and fearful of going out. In retrospect, I understand the difficulties I used to experience.
Other trans women frequently told me, “It’s more about attitude than passing.” How can attitude affect how one is viewed by others? It took me a few years to figure out. Having the right attitude in public can be the difference between having an amazingly positive and enjoyable experience, or not. It’s a little like a magic trick, but it’s not magic. There’s something more powerful at work, and it’s not just attitude, either.
Continue reading Being a Successful Trans Woman in Public without Passing
It’s been a while since I’ve had an opportunity to get out in public as Gabrielle. My wife, the fabulous Mrs. H., recently took me shopping at one of the local malls. It marked the first time we ventured out in public together, while I was en femme (not including drives we’ve taken in which I did not exit the car).
My public outings have had mixed results in the past. To increase the potential for a more successful outing, I took some drastic measures this time, or at least drastic for me.
Continue reading Out Shopping En Femme With My Wife
It’s Friday… thank GOD it’s Friday! What a crazy, busy week it’s been for me. That’s often how things just work out in my life.
During the week, my wife, the fabulous Mrs. H., brightened up my days with her usual awesomeness. From her amazing, delicious Puerto Rican home cooking to the incredible way she rocks my world (and everything else in between) – she’s the greatest.
I love my wife with all my heart and thank God for her presence in my life. This afternoon I will greet her with a nice bouquet of flowers in hand. If you’re reading this, why not surprise your wife or significant other with some flowers, too. The loving smile they offer in return is worth every dime!
Continue reading Friday Flowers for a Fabulous Wife
This photo was taken just before leaving for my high school reunion, August 22, 2009. I snapped it in the bathroom, facing the big mirror where I apply my makeup - the lighting there always does my face justice. :)This is the third and final installment of attending my high school class reunion as Gabrielle. If you haven’t read part 1 and part 2 yet, I encourage you to do so before continuing.
A quick recap
Longing to get out in public and interact with people as Gabrielle, I attended my high class school reunion en femme. The photo to the right was taken just before leaving the house that evening. I was terribly nervous and it took me a while to find my stride, but eventually I hooked up with some old friends and wound up having a great time. I also found myself very much out of the closet to many more people than I was comfortable with.
In the days following the reunion, the realization of being “out” to so many people wreaked havoc on my emotional stability as I pondered all the terrible things that may come as a result. After some time, I realized that I was over-reacting and simply experienced some instability as a result of taking such big first steps out like that.
The experience changed me. Many fears were conquered that evening. The insecurities that followed have been properly dealt with and bother me no more. I’ve made some wonderful advances in my growth and evolution as a person. There were also some considerable failures on my part that evening – signs of how far I have yet to go.
Continue reading Class Reunion En Femme and Unprepared (part 3)
The photo you see above is of my wife, the fabulous Mrs. H. If you’re new to this site, she’s a genetic woman, not a crossdresser (like me). Although she agreed to pose for the photograph, it is not uncommon to find her admiring the beauty she sees in her own reflection in the mirror. This is especially true when she’s wearing something sexy.
What does this have to do with anything? When it comes to the misconceptions about crossdressers by mainstream society, a lot, really. Please note that sex and masturbation will be brought up in this article to some extent – not in a gratuitous way, but rather informational and as a matter of fact. You may want to stop reading now if informational sexual content is offensive to you. In saying that, I can’t help but wonder if people also skipped out on sex education in school because that also dealt with matters of sex and (gasp) masturbation.
Continue reading Aroused by Her Own Sexy Reflection in the Mirror
Earlier this week while I was at work, “Edmund” (not his real name) stopped by to visit my wife. I know Edmund fairly well. We didn’t always get along, but as he grew up and matured, things lightened up between us. He’s really not a bad guy, but he offered a little reminder and rather cold dose of reality before his visit was through.
Continue reading “One of Your Faggot Friends”