You’re a married crossdresser (or living with a significant other), but not out of the closet yet and not quite ready to come out. How can you shave your legs without explaining why? Honestly, you should really just come clean and tell your love interest the truth. That is the best thing to do, although it may not be the easiest. However if you are simply not ready for whatever reason, have no fear. There are ways to have nice, clean, smoothly shaved legs while remaining in the closet and without having to offer the difficult truth as to why.
I started shaving my legs in the spring of 2006. At the time, I was not yet out to my wife, however I did get her approval to shave my legs with the help of a little plan I worked out. You might try something similar with your wife or significant other. With some patience, planning, and convincing acting skills, you’ll soon enjoy having nice, smooth legs.
Like many crossdressers, I got to the point where I just couldn’t take it anymore – I needed to have silky, smooth legs. I was tired of being Sasquatch in a skirt. My legs were rather hairy. To complicate things, my wife happened to love my hairy legs. She thought they were sexy and enjoyed running her fingers through them… which was actually very soothing and enjoyable.
I was up against some pretty difficult odds, but I came up with a good plan. Any guy with hairy legs knows how itchy they can be. Mine were itchy, although not to the point of constant irritation or anything. However, I decided to start behaving as if they were a whole lot itchier.
This plan was a long-term one. I knew that from the start. If you go this route, I suggest you be patient and careful not to over do it.
Each night when my wife and I were going to bed, I made it a point to itch my legs so that she was aware of it. At first, I just itched them for a while as we lay in bed talking or just after turning out the light. After a while, I began throwing in comments about how badly they itched and irritated me sometimes. I came up with stories about having to itch my legs while driving to work and during long meetings at the office, etc.
It was also important to be caught itching my legs here and there. If I was watching TV and heard my wife coming toward the living room, I’d start itching my legs. The point was to get her used to seeing me itch my legs.
It is very important not to take this too far though. Don’t make obvious comments or complain too often. Don’t pretend as if they’re driving you insane. They’re just irritating and annoying – that’s all. Draw attention to it, but not too much attention and not all the time.
After a while, my wife picked up on my itchy legs. She surprised me at one point and said, “Why don’t you try shaving them if they’re bothering you that much.”
This was too good to be true – she actually suggested it to me. I made sure she was not joking and would not be bothered my shaved legs. After all, she rather liked them hairy. She honestly seemed more concerned with how I felt about having shaved legs. Inside I was elated, but I just pretended that it might feel or look weird for a while, and hopefully it would help my constant itching.
It took a few months, but the plan worked beautifully. I could now shave my legs, have a perfect excuse to do so, and remain safely in the closet about the true reason.
It doesn’t stop here though. As the hair starts to grow back, they do become rather itchy (as any real woman will tell you). Perhaps more so at first, until you get used to them being shaved. It’s probably a good idea to hide this fact and try not to let your significant other see you itching your shaved legs. If you shaved them under the guise of itching relief, you need to show that you are indeed feeling relieved and no longer as itchy. A little itching is ok, she’ll understand that. Too much and she might say, “Why not just grow it back if it’s more itchy this way.”
Another important point is that your wife will probably feel your legs against her legs while the two of you are in bed. If you don’t properly maintain a close shave, they’ll get stubbly and start to feel like a bunch of needles up against her legs. She probably won’t like this and may ask you to let the hair grow back or maintain them better. You’ll need to figure out how long you can go between shavings before your legs irritate your wife. Because it takes me at least a half hour to shave my legs fully, I cannot shave them daily. There just isn’t enough time. They also break out if I shave them too often with a bladed razor.
You may consider shaving them with a bladed razor once a week, and then with an electric razor ever other day in between (or whatever optimal increment works best for you and your wife).
I used a similar tactic to get my wife’s approval to shave my chest and stomach (the “happy trail” area). By the time I was shaving my arms and hands, I was already starting to come out to her, so she understood my true reasons to shave.
I hope this works for you. Again, this is kind of a long-term approach, but it worked great for me and may work well for you too. What is another couple of months in the grander scheme of things, anyway?
For the record, my wife, the fabulous Mr.s H., took that photo of my right leg with the razor on it for this write-up. She loves my shaved legs and I keep no more secrets from her.
Good luck, and happy shaving. :)
Tags: crossdressing, legs, shaving
By phylisanne bernstein on Apr 17, 2009 | Reply
when i started to shave my legs i still was in the closet.but when i came out and told my wife that i was a crossdresser i started to shave my legs all the time and now i never put on a pair of stockings without my legs shaved.
By Sarah on May 12, 2009 | Reply
I’m a competitive cyclist, so there’s my excuse. Take up swimming or cycling and you’ve got permission to shave!
By Gabrielle on May 12, 2009 | Reply
Sounds like you’ve got a good excuse AND a great way to keep them looking good at the same time, Sarah! :)
By "Anna" on Jun 7, 2009 | Reply
Legs I’m use to…and you mentioned hands and arms, I figured as much. But I’m very attached to his armpit hair and don’t want it to go…but, don’t want it to hang out when he’s/she’s dressed in a cami…
I wish hair was a magical thing that could be gone and then magically appear. This would be useful to all of human kind, women would just never ask it to come back.
By Gabrielle on Jun 8, 2009 | Reply
I wish hair could come and go magically too, Anna! lol I’ve spoken to my wife about that before. Honestly, neither myself or my wife misses my armpit hair though. It felt weird when I first shaved mine, but I quickly got used to it AND they’re actually less itchy now.
By Erin on Oct 26, 2009 | Reply
Armpit hair is easy as well. The hair actually is a significant part of the underarm odor. If you get rid of it you smell better in general.
Very nice leg picture btw.
By Gabrielle on Oct 26, 2009 | Reply
Thanks for the compliment on my leg photo, Erin. :) I’ve been without armpit hair for some time now and I love it. Deodorant doesn’t get as messy either. Felt weird at first, but now I can’t imaging having armpit hair again.
By Matt on Nov 11, 2009 | Reply
Thanks for the advice going to start project itch ASAP, I’ve been gutted about this one for weeks as the GF likes a man to be a man! :( and i dont like cycling or swimming, ;)
Can’t wait for my legs to look as good as yours.
By Gabrielle on Nov 11, 2009 | Reply
You’re welcome, Matt. :) Just don’t over-do it. Be patient, pace yourself and give it sufficient time. It’s a long-term plan.
About being a man, my wife also loves her man to be a man. When I’m not Gabrielle, I’m all man, shaved legs and all. My body hair does not define my gender, and neither does yours. Just something to keep in mind. :) What I mean is I enjoy the best of both worlds, as does my wife. Mrs. H. loves her man, and she loves her t-girl, too.
Another thing to keep in mind is, being open with your gf. If not today, do you see yourself able to tell her down the line should things get more serious? If you think she’d never be open-minded enough to tell or might reject you if she knew, you had better take that into serious consideration should the two of you start talking marriage. Just a little friendly unsolicited advice. :)
Good luck with “project itch”. :)
By Krissy Kox on Nov 25, 2009 | Reply
I just took all the hair off my body and told my wife that I like the look. Most male models are smooth so she thought that was ok. Now I put nail polish on my toe nails (silver) and she doesn’t mind that either. I just keep adding little feminine touches to myself.
By Frankie on Apr 2, 2010 | Reply
Had this problem with my male room-mate who I’m not out to. I just told him it feels good.
By Dave on Aug 28, 2010 | Reply
I wanted to shave my legs for years but didn,t know what to say to other half. I became desperate for that smooth feel. I said to her one day, ‘I’m gonna shave all my body hair off!’ She laughed like a drain and gave me an odd look. I shaved everything off, it was fantastic, it felt outrageously good! Once I started I couldn’t stop, I haven’t had that much pleasure for a long time. We went to the beach the next day and she didn’t even notice! When I pointed it out to her she looked at me in disbelief. I kept it up and it is regarded as the norm now so no probs. It does feel good though!! I recommend it, take courage, it’s your body. We shave our faces don’t we??
By Gabrielle on Aug 29, 2010 | Reply
Thanks for sharing your shaving story, Dave, and a belated welcome to the smoother side. :) I’m glad your other half approves. Interesting (and good) that she didn’t even notice at first. No one noticed when I started shaving my body, other than my wife who knew before hand. There are many who fear their doctor noticing, and THAT is why they won’t take the plunge. Well, doctors/nurses do tend to notice, but get this – THEY DON’T CARE! lol It’s a total NON-issue to doctors and people in the health care profession.
It’s odd – the “socially accepted” shaving zones. In Biblical times, it was taboo for a man to shave his face. In some parts of the world, it still is. Today, men can shave their face, but it’s “odd” if they shave other parts of the body UNLESS they’re a body builder or a few other types of professional athlete. Then all of a sudden it’s “ok” (socially acceptable) to shave the body. Who made up these social body-hair rules for men, anyway? It doesn’t matter to me. I happily break those “rules” and enjoy a better quality of life for it. It’s really too bad – how there are so many people out there still afraid to do TO THEIR OWN BODY that which might make them happy, out of fear of social rejection (which is usually nothing more than a quickly forgotten joke or two at worst).
By Robyn on Sep 22, 2010 | Reply
Shaved all over. It feels great and I could not go back to having hairy legs (not that they were that hairy anyway). The armpits are great – no smell at all.
Men are just too scared to do these things because it’s not “normal” and we can’t not be normal, can we?
By Gabrielle on Sep 23, 2010 | Reply
Thanks for sharing, Robyn. :) I couldn’t go back to being hairy, either.
Interesting point you bring up about “men are just too scared to do these things…” and the whole “normal” thing. Isn’t it interesting how men tend to hold other men to certain “man standards” because of the perceived notion that men should be “tough and manly” and the whole reason many men subscribe to these “man standards” in the first place is out of total **fear** and **insecurity** of what others might think if they deviate from them? No one likes to be made fun of for being “different”, but it seems like such a ridiculous facade that so many men choose to put up. All it does is inhibit individually and create a false “normality”, and I don’t just mean for trans folk. It’s widely accepted behavior and certainly considered “normal” in today’s society, but it’s terribly limiting and definitely not healthy, nonetheless.
By Claire Black on Dec 6, 2010 | Reply
GF was not a problem – in fact, we got drunk one night, and I got her to shave my legs for me. But, she was already in on my little secret, even if very tentative about each little step I was taking back then.
The bigger problem is my sister, who keeps asking questions like – why don’t you have any hair on your legs? why is your hair so long? Also, I don’t wear shorts in front of my friends.
For everyone who shaves their body, seriously: consider laser treatments. These have been a blessing for me – only the lightest blond hairs remain, and I am hair-free all the time. The savings in time and cost of blades is well worth the investment.
By Gabrielle on Dec 6, 2010 | Reply
Thanks for chiming in with your shaving story, Claire. :) Having an understanding and cooperative love interest is always a big help in situations like this. Inquisitive siblings… well, that certainly can be problematic, it seems.
Thanks for the input on the laser treatment, too. It’s pretty expensive, but if it works as good as you suggest, the time and hassle savings alone could quickly make up for the money invested. I may need to consider this option again. Additional (free) time is something I could sure use more of in my days!
By dave on Dec 7, 2010 | Reply
I shave my legs and strive to be a cd but don’t have any women’s clothes have any tips
By Gabrielle on Dec 8, 2010 | Reply
Hi Dave. Time to do some shopping. If privacy is a concern, online shopping is a good option. For best size and fit, consult women’s clothing size guides. Some online clothing stores have a link to this information. You may want to do some research on size before the actual shopping. Google is your friend. There’s some trial and error involved, too – we all go through it. Happy dressing. :)
By Kirsten on Jan 17, 2011 | Reply
Hi Gabrielle,
Hmmm, I’m definitely in the same predicament as Dave having a severe shortage in my (rather an absence) female wardrobe. I have seen many guides to buying clothing in a general sense but unfortunately we are all blessed with an unlimited budget for clothes lol. Assuming I can only afford a few outfits I have no clue where to start lol. But more on the actual subject of this article I just wanted to ask what are the supplies I would want to use to do body shaving? What do you recommend as far as razors, shaving gels and postshave lotions/soothing balms? I have fairly sensitive skin btw.
By Gabrielle on Jan 17, 2011 | Reply
Hi Kirsten. In the photo for this article, I used one of my wife’s razors set atop my leg. It made for a good accompanying photo to the article. In reality I actually use a popular men’s razor to take care of my legs, and all my body shaving, for that matter. It took me a while to settle on the specific brand of razor, but I’ve been using a “Quattro” razor. I’ve had pretty good results with them in terms of quality of shave (smoothness) and minimal damage to my skin. For shaving cream, I’ve been using “Skintimate”. It’s what my wife uses, and has worked well for me, so now I use it, too. I’ve also shaved with just plain soap lather. It’s not as convenient (lathering takes a lot longer), but the end result is almost as good. Using soap is possible (at least for me), but I don’t recommend that approach as anything other than an occasional fall-back should you run out of shaving cream mid-shave.
If you have thick, coarse, and/or long leg hair, I strongly recommend using clippers to get it down to stubble prior to using a razor. Otherwise, your razor, no matter what brand, will not be very effective.
I’m certainly no expert on the subject of which tools may work best for various skin types, etc. It will probably take some experimentation to settle upon what works best for you. Depending on your skin’s sensitivity, it may not be possible to shave daily/frequently as it may cause skin irritation and rash. Take your time settling on the right tools and also best shaving method. Good luck! :)
By Danielle on Feb 11, 2011 | Reply
(To Kristen) I also have the same issue of fairly sensitive skin and I have particularly long and quick growing hair. Recently I decided to try using hair removal cream and it worked fabulously once I worked out which brand to use. My personal preferance is Veet, as it seems to burn me less than the Nair that I used in my first attempt. Follow the directions exactly and you should recieve the best result. After that I’ve found it quite easy to maintain my legs with a feminine razor and some Skintimate shave gel. Hope this is helpful.
By Gabrielle on Feb 11, 2011 | Reply
Thanks for offering your advice, Danielle. I’m sure Kristen (and others) will appreciate it. :)
By Mia on Feb 26, 2011 | Reply
I shaved my legs for the first time a few weeks ago and it was a great decision, I felt so much more feminine! Luckily for me my hair doesn’t grow back in very quickly so I’m still looking and feeling lovely.
By Shake Spear on Mar 9, 2011 | Reply
PLEASE…it’s SCRATCH my legs, not ITCH my legs.
By Gabrielle on Mar 9, 2011 | Reply
Sorry about my not quite proper use of the word “itch” as a substitute for “scratch”, Shake Spear.
My bad. :)
By ragina on May 4, 2011 | Reply
Help, I love to shave my legs, but the breakouts on the upper legs gets really irritating(no pun intended). what can I do to stop this? I have tried using moisturizer to no avail. One thing I’ve learned, Because of the summer temps here, it’ smarter not to shave during the summer months. Any help would be apreciated.
By Gabrielle on May 4, 2011 | Reply
Hi Ragina. I hear you on the break outs. I’ve gotten my share of that, too. In order to minimize the irritation and break outs, I ended up trying different razors until I found one that worked best with my skin. You may find that switching razors is more effective than switching creams. I also don’t shave every day, which helps a lot by offering some rejuvenation time for the skin. Yes, it gets prickly feeling on my non-shaving days, but visually, it’s not even noticeable (especially because I almost always wear stockings when en femme).
About shaving in the summer, I shave all year round. When I first started shaving, I was very self-conscious about people noticing, so I would let it grow back from time to time depending, but now I’m clean shaven (my whole body) all the time, all year. No one has ever said a thing – not my doctors, not people at work, not my family – no one. Most noticeable on me was my once hairy arms, but one day when they were hairy no more, no one said a word. Of course, I never discussed with it anyone and never drew attention to it, so that helps. Shave all you want, whenever you want – that is my advice to you. It’s really up to what *you* want, though. If you’re worried about someone making a comment or poking fun at you, just laugh right along with them. If they ask why you shave (assuming you’re not out of the closet), just tell them you don’t like the hair or how itchy it was, etc. You need not defend shaving and if you defend it too strongly, people may question it. If anyone makes the dumb-ass comment “A real man doesn’t shave his legs.” (or variations there of), you just tell them, “A REAL man does whatever the hell he wants. Conformity is for cowards.” Or something to that extent. Personally, I put “real men” (note the quotes” into the coward category because those who are so concerned about being a “real man” and making certain all other men are a “real man” are indeed cowards who are so worried about ridicule from others, that they go out of their way to show their cowardly conformity to the “real man” code of social acceptance. My two cents. Good luck with whatever way you feel is best for you. :)
By Dave on Jun 18, 2011 | Reply
Well it’s now been since Aug 2010 that I shaved my whole body. My wife doesn’t give it a second thought, we do have much better sex and I think it is because everything is much cleaner etc. I have taken a further step and have been waxed completely, it is much better than shaving and re-growth is less and finer, you have to be more careful about skincare (moisturizing etc) something I didn’t do because I’m a guy? My body is now very smooth and clean and it never ceases to amaze me how damned good it feels. It is a woman who does the waxing, I couldn’t stand a bloke doing it! I definately smell better for much longer. Get waxed!!
By Gabrielle on Jun 20, 2011 | Reply
Hi Dave, thanks for sharing. :) I’ve never tried waxing, but thought about it a few times. I know it would last a lot longer than just shaving. I, too, would also prefer a woman take care of the waxing for me if/when I give that a try. Good point on the skin moisturizing. Most men never even think about it, but it really does help keep the skin in good condition and slow down the whole “aging” look over time.
By venus on Oct 15, 2011 | Reply
hi gabrielle ,
well.. i dont know this is my query or not..
but..just wanna share that…i started crossdressing..and…whenever i crossdressed … i felt soft touch of woman clothes..and.. i got an erection ..and..this situation spoiled my crossdressing… i dont know what to do at that time .. i tried to not thinking about clothes but it didn’t work …and..even i also feel query about it … how to adjust it while we crossdressing…it was spoiling photos and self confidence for next dressing…
By Gabrielle on Oct 15, 2011 | Reply
Hi Venus. I understand how you feel, but it’s not something you should be too worried about. It’s pretty normal for (new) crossdressers to experience sexual arousal when getting dressed up. It’s the kind of thing (non-crossdressing) people tend to frown upon and confuse for something else, but it’s a normal part of the exeperience for those who are relatively new at it. It’s often referred to as the “masturbation phase” – that period of time in one’s life when crossdressing causes such arousal. For many, it fades over time and there is seldom, if any, arousal experienced when getting dressed. In the meantime, don’t be so down on yourself because of it. Life is a growth process, regardless of gender or gender expression, so allow yourself to experience what comes naturally during your growth process. If you try to surprise it or just feel ashamed, you’ll probably just inhibit your growth and evolution. Forget about all that taboo stuff and what “others might think” and just allow yourself to experience what you experience without much deeper thought about “what it all means”. It doesn’t really mean much of anything, unless you choose to place meaning upon it. I suggest you choose to let yourself evolve without overthinking or stressing about it. Let nature take its course and you’ll be fine. :)
By shy girlie on Oct 29, 2011 | Reply
Hi, I have a question. When you shave your armpits, does it cause a rash if it starts to grow back and you don’t shave it again? And speaking of that, have you ever had any irritation resulting from applying deoderant to shaved pits? Probably silly questions, but I’m curious and might try it myserlf, and I wouldn’t want to spend several days having my coworkers hearing me say “ow, ouch, dang!”
By Gabrielle on Oct 29, 2011 | Reply
Hi Shy Girlie. Your questions aren’t silly. I understand your concerns. :)
I’m not a dermatology expert by any means, but I don’t believe that the simple act of shaving one’s armpits and then letting the hair grow back in won’t cause a rash. It is entirely possible that other factors may cause irritation and/or a rash, though. If you have sensitive skin or cause some kind of damage to the armpit area, however minor, you may be leaving yourself open to an infection and/or increasing the potential for an allergic reaction. If a rash does occur while the hair starts to grow back, it would probably be the result of skin damage during the shaving, rather than the hair growing back. Infections usually take a couple of days to start showing symptoms.
The same applies to irritation caused by deodorant. If you shave too aggressively or just have sensitive skin, small abrasions made by the shaving will allow your deodorant to potentially make contact with deeper layers of your epidermis (allowing the deodorant to be absorbed into your body at much greater concentration than intended) and that may result in irritation.
I personally have not gotten a rash or experienced much irritation from shaving my armpits. It was rather strange feeling at first, but there was no real discomfort or tenderness. It’s important to be very careful when shaving this area for the first time. You’ll need to allow yourself time to learn how best to do it and be careful not to apply too much pressure so as to avoid shaving off skin along with the armpit hair. You might also need to try a few different types of razors. I had to experiment with a few before I settled on one that worked best for me. I also do not shave my armpits every day, but rather every few days. Doing so every day did cause skin irritation, so I have to skip a few days in-between shaving for optimal comfort. In my case, a few days growth is not really noticeable. If you have darker hair color, it may be a different story. If you feel that you *do* need to shave every day to avoid the unsightly armpit 5 o’clock shadow, I suggest working up to it over a period of time, to allow your skin to adjust and (hopefully) build up a resistance to shaving.
I hope this was helpful. Happy shaving! :)
By Tina(Tom) on Nov 22, 2011 | Reply
My GF is very supportive of my CDing. She helped me shave my legs the first time. She also suggested waxig which she did for me. It was wonderful and slightly painful(not all bad). My legs felt great and the hair reallyd does come back slower, softer, and thinner (at first anyhow). We had a blast doing it. I did get some ingrown hairs from doing this, so I do need to figure out what I need to do about that. They looked like red pimples and lasted for weeks.
We also waxed my chest once. It was much more painful than the legs, but looked great.
I might try laser sometime. How much does that cost?
By cecil (celina) on Jan 21, 2012 | Reply
gabriella i shave my legs and chest arms and arm pits but the problem is when i shave my legs and chest i brake out really bad now didnt use to but now it get really bad and verry iechy plese help me what can i do to stop it
By Gabrielle on Jan 22, 2012 | Reply
Sorry to hear about your break outs, Celina. You might consider trying different razors and/or different shaving creams to find something that is a little more agreeable with your skin type. Also be careful of how much pressure you apply when shaving. If you’re shaving too rough, even if it doesn’t cause pain or discomfort in the moment, you may be causing damage to your skin that becomes apparent later in the form of redness and irritation. If none of that helps, try not shaving as often. Maybe your skin is more sensitive and can’t handle frequent shavings, regardless. If that is the case, consider trying an electric shaver. The shave may not be as close, but the potential for irritation will be far less, and it might be a good alternative. Good luck!