Today is tax day for everyone in the U.S. – something many of us dread. If Uncle Sam just cleaned out your piggy bank, perhaps we might offer you a pleasant distraction from your woes in the form of the beautiful, the lovely Heidi Phox.
Heidi is our latest babe and for good reason. The camera just loves this phoxy t-girl as you can see in the numerous photos available on her flickr and MySpace accounts. She looks absolutely stunning! Her playful, creative side really shows through in various poses across a variety locations. Fashion sense? Oh yeah – she’s got that in abundance!
Heidi is a gorgeous 39 year old straight male to female crossdresser who lives in Salt Lake City, Utah. Active in her church, she puts family first and loves spending time with her wife and kids. She’s a big NFL fan, and also enjoys going hiking and camping. Having taken up running to stay slim, she now has a few marathons under her (garter) belt.
Beautiful as she is, Heidi’s life goes far deeper than just her outer appearance, and I’m not just talking about the crossdressing aspect. Growing up transgendered is anything but easy to deal with and understand – especially within the confines of our generally unaccepting society. Heidi talks about her crossdressing with us:
So WHY do I like to wear women’s clothes? What a question! I’ve been trying to answer that for a couple of decades now and still may not have the answer. I’ve had many theories. At first I thought I’d someday discover I was gay. But I never developed any attraction to men. Or maybe “misdirected adolescent sexual cravings and as I get older they will pass”. Well, there may have been something to that one but they never passed. Or maybe an outward manifestation of a sensitive, feminine side, an appreciation for all things feminine? Not bad. Then there is the envy of women, who have so many styles of clothes, hair, make-up at their disposal to custom their look to their mood. Men can’t do a whole lot to look special. I am in awe of the “transformation” whether it’s a girl looking special for an occasion or a man who can appear as the opposite sex.
Many crossdressers have expressed a sense of relaxation and stress relief when dressing up. What’s your take on this?
Temporarily becoming Heidi is a great way to forget about life’s everyday trials. When I’m feeling frustrated or anxious my imaginary world is an intoxicating drug. I am so carefree and upbeat. I read how someone else put it: Heidi lives in the moment, no future, no past, just enjoying the details at hand.
You enjoy a happy marriage. Where does your wife sit with your feminine side?
She’s cursed it, tried to accept it fully, helped me with it, been hurt my it, had fun with it, been annoyed by it, been turned off by it, been turned on by it, and been jealous of it. I think we’ve both come to terms with how it fits into our relationship.
She knows that everyone has their vices that they turn to escape the pressures of the world, and if this is the worst thing I do, then it isn’t so bad.
My wife and I think a lot of the pain and anguish we experienced the early on was due to the fact that we tried to integrate Heidi into our relationship too fast. Now we’re going slow and cautiously and having more fun with it. I think one of the best things we did was go to the library and read everything we could find on transvestitism. It put her and my minds at ease a lot knowing this is a fairly common hobby with others much like me and there are even national organizations.
How do you feel about society’s general treatment of transgendered people?
I often wonder “Why should I have to hide it? Why don’t I just shave my body, pierce my ears, pluck my eyebrows, and wear whatever I want? Those things don’t determine whether I’m a good husband, father, etc. Why don’t I just wear whatever I’m in the mood for whenever and wherever I want and not care if people know I’m a cross dresser?…” Well, it would be nice if people would treat me and my family the same regardless of my choice of appearance, but the truth is the world is teeming with closed minded people who not only cannot accept others who are different but also enjoy hurting those people by various means including gossip, name calling, misconceived or ignorant judgment. The pain and anguish to me and my family would not be worth the attempt to educate the public on how cross-dressers are really normal people.(remember one of the reasons I do this is to escape stress). I find it interesting that a society that formerly was intolerant of blacks, gays, unwed mothers, HIV victims, mentally retarded, etc. now accepts nearly everyone except the cross-dresser. The cross-dresser is still fair game for jokes and insult.
Unfortunately we are still fair game for all the jokes and insults, among other things. It’s really very sad that we live in such a “civilized” society (note the quotes) and yet our poor treatment is so widely accepted, tolerated, and even taught to children. What other group of non-harmful people is forced to live a life of secrecy in order to remain employed, stay out of harm’s way, and be accepted in the company of their peers, neighbors and even their own families?
Are there any final thoughts you would like to leave everyone with?
What I do is a private hobby that is a lot of fun and hurts no one. I hope this has been interesting and insightful. Maybe you have a better understanding of transvestitism or maybe you see yourself in my words and feel less lonely. I urge all to accept others for all their strengths and weaknesses that we all have in some way. And I urge all people like me to be the best person you can be so if your secret is ever revealed people may have a better perception of the kind of person who likes to dress of the other sex.
That is a very excellent point you make: urging people in the transgendered community to put forth a positive example of who they are as a person. That is exactly what we hope to help accomplish with this website.
Society often seems to only see and dwell on the darker, seedier side of things. Every group has its bad elements. MOST of us are very good, down to earth people, who just happen to celebrate our strong feminine side.
Please show Heidi some love and check out her links:
Say hi to Heidi and maybe leave her a kind comment or two, I’m sure she’d appreciate it. Please be courteous though. She’s happily married and not looking for romance – in other words, please do not hit on her.
Thanks for being our Babe of the Week, Heidi! :)