Category Archives: crossdressing

Black Nail Polish Ain’t Just for Halloween

black nail polish

My favorite color is black and I love black nail polish. When it looking feminine (or trying to), I think my color choices differ from many. I generally do not wear bright, colorful clothing. I prefer dark, neutral colors. Dressing all in black is my favorite, and that of course includes black nail polish (check the photo below).

At the risk of sounding like an advertisement for the “Hot Topic” chain, I do like many of the things they carry. Some of the hardcore gothic-types make fun of the chain for various reasons, but I don’t really care. I like what I like regardless of what others have to say about it. I’m not exactly goth, but love many of the female gothic styles and plan on exploring them more in the future… in my own way, of course. Many gothic men wear black nail polish, by the way, which has nothing to do with crossdressing (as in, they’re not crossdressing by wearing it).
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En Femme at the Mall, Turbulence & Triumph

Gabrielle in mall

After a productive outing to see my therapist as Gabrielle, I wasn’t quite ready to call it a day. I decided to take a stroll through a local mall. I’d driven to this mall a few times en femme, only to remain in the car out of fear of being harmed.

This is part of my personal growth process. I need to become more comfortable being Gabrielle in public and interacting with others as such. My primary objective for this mission (it’s more fun to think of it as a mission *grin*) was to make at least one purchase before leaving the mall. My secondary objective was to walk the entire mall before leaving, but it’s a rather large mall and I wasn’t sure about the feasibility of that in my high-heel boots.

Before my mall-trek was over, I received a rather unsettling reminder of the very real potential for danger in public crossdressing.
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Visiting My Therapist En Femme

metal handsMy reasons for being in therapy are not directly centered around being a crossdresser, although is often brought up as it ties into to many aspects of my life. If being a part time t-girl is not the main reason for being in therapy, then why go to my therapist en femme? The short answer is why not? I’ve been making a point to stretch my legs and get out in public as Gabrielle, and this seemed like another great opportunity to do so.

I’ve shown my therapist photos of Gabrielle a few times. In recent sessions, it’s felt like things may be winding down. I wanted him to meet Gabrielle in person before we parted ways. Without being asked to or making it known ahead of time, I decided to just show up as Gabrielle. This particular session took place a few weeks ago – I’m a little behind in my writing. Coincidentally, I have another session with him today, although I’ll be going as plain old Gabe and not Gabrielle.

Here we go again
So what happens in the reception area before even having a seat in the waiting room? I get laughed at… again. To date, my record is perfect – every time I’ve ventured out into public and interacted with people as Gabrielle, I’ve gotten laughed at. As it’s been mentioned before, I do not pass in person.
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Vlog #1: Failed Outing, Class Reunion, & Striped Mini Dress

My first official “vlog” (video web log). This was originally recorded on September 12, 2009, but it took a while to find the time to polish it up with some titles and music, and post it online.

Ever wonder what my femme-voice sounds like? Well, it ain’t very convincing. Not yet, anyway. But I’m working on improving it and practicing voice feminization techniques. I’ve got a long way to go in the voice department, but I don’t think you’ll find it too distracting.
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Class Reunion En Femme and Unprepared (part 3)

[Not a valid template]This is the third and final installment of attending my high school class reunion as Gabrielle. If you haven’t read part 1 and part 2 yet, I encourage you to do so before continuing.

A quick recap
Longing to get out in public and interact with people as Gabrielle, I attended my high class school reunion en femme. The photo to the right was taken just before leaving the house that evening. I was terribly nervous and it took me a while to find my stride, but eventually I hooked up with some old friends and wound up having a great time. I also found myself very much out of the closet to many more people than I was comfortable with.

In the days following the reunion, the realization of being “out” to so many people wreaked havoc on my emotional stability as I pondered all the terrible things that may come as a result. After some time, I realized that I was over-reacting and simply experienced some instability as a result of taking such big first steps out like that.

The experience changed me. Many fears were conquered that evening. The insecurities that followed have been properly dealt with and bother me no more. I’ve made some wonderful advances in my growth and evolution as a person. There were also some considerable failures on my part that evening – signs of how far I have yet to go.
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Class Reunion En Femme and Unprepared (part 2)

insecuritiesThis is part 2 of attending my high school class reunion as Gabrielle, and reflection upon what took place immediately following. If you haven’t read part 1 yet, I encourage you to do so before continuing.

A quick recap
The opportunity to transform into Gabrielle was present on the day of my high school class reunion. Longing to get out of the house, into the world, and be among people as Gabrielle, I decided to attend my class reunion en femme.

Things were off to a bumpy start after arriving. Extremely nervous and full of insecurities, I clumsily fumbled my way through for a while. In time, I hooked up with some old friends and began to find my stride. I didn’t reveal who my man-side was, but they figured it out on their own. Unintentionally out of the closet and among accepting friends, my enjoyment level was through the roof. I felt invincible, though still a bit awkward at the same time.

As the reunion came to an end, my classmates invited me to meet up with them afterward at a local bar. Ready to take on the world, I accepted and headed out to meet them, en femme, in a town that is not exactly friendly toward people like me.
Continue reading Class Reunion En Femme and Unprepared (part 2)

Class Reunion En Femme and Unprepared (part 1)

Gabrielle's High School Reunion

About a month ago, I attended my high school class reunion as Gabrielle. A picture is worth a thousand words, but this one is a bit misleading. You may see a happy t-girl, having a good time and enjoying herself among old high school friends and classmates. In reality, that was not the exactly case, at least not at the time the photo was taken. The smile was forced and I was terribly nervous. I did end up having a good time after loosening up, but the evening was not all fun and games. Nor was it a smart move on my part to show up en femme, unprepared as I was on many fronts.
Continue reading Class Reunion En Femme and Unprepared (part 1)