Thank You For Noticing I’m Normal

the "normal" Cleaver family eating their "normal" dinner

What exactly is normal? Being a crossdresser, most of society would consider me to be anything but normal. Sadly, that assessment is entirely based on my preferred choice of outward appearance. Compared to the Cleaver family of 1950’s sitcom “everyday normal family” fame, do I really look so terrible?

We live in a society that preaches “don’t judge a book by its cover” and tells us diversity is a good thing, but there are widely accepted limits to both. I’m not sure exactly where the line is drawn, but it falls well short of accepting someone like me as “normal”.

The title of this post is not directed toward mainstream society, but rather to my sisters in the transgendered community. You may be thinking: of course they think I’m normal. After all, they’re “freaks” too, right? (note the quotes)

Truth be told, there are indeed plenty of transgendered freaks out there. I think their numbers pale in comparison to non-transgendered freaks, but I don’t have the statistics on that. We know they’re out there because they’re easy to find: people who are all too happy to show you their exposed body parts and exactly what they do with them. Some of these genitalia-showing photo-freaks even happen to be crossdressers. You didn’t think I was talking about crossdressers alone, did you? Funny how only the crossdressing freaks seem to leave a lasting negative impression on people. If a “regular” non-crossdressing man shows off his manhood on the internet, people don’t usually label all non-crossdressing men as freaks, do they?

For the record, I don’t have a problem if people want to show off their body parts in a sexually explicit manner. I sure as hell don’t want to see it, but people should be free to do as they choose in terms of self-expression in pictorial and video form (with some obvious exceptions).

Here I am though, sharing myself with the world through my website, writing, photos, videos, participation in online transgendered communities and even in an occasional “normal” community. I’m not afraid of what people are going to think of me and I never lie about who I am when presenting myself in feminine form online.

I’m pretty normal even though I wear women’s clothes, makeup, and act feminine at times. I understand that completely negates any normality about who I am in the eyes of many people. My intelligence and creative talents don’t mean squat because I break the “gender rules” as a crossdresser. The help and understanding I offer people is all bogus because I’m a part time t-girl. My very happy and successful marriage is a crock because I often dress the same as my wife. I should probably be fired from my job because of how I look off-hours too, right?

Maybe I’m not very normal. I do have some issues that need working on – things that have nothing to do with my crossdressing. Doesn’t everyone though? Who doesn’t have room for improvement?

To those who have thanked me for being “normal” and for sharing all that I do on my website and in online communities – I want to thank you in return. Thank you for choosing to be yourself and embrace your feminine side as I do. It is very normal to be yourself. It is not normal to live a lie and trying to constantly suppress who you are. This society often seems more concerned with how we’re dressed rather than the good people we are, which is very sad. Thank you for being true to yourselves given all that is stacked against you (against all of us). Show society that you are indeed normal, too. Maybe then we can get out of the Leave it to Beaver facade of normality that so many people still cling to.

4 thoughts on “Thank You For Noticing I’m Normal”

  1. Actually, this is very relevant to a recent news story I read. Some 27 year old guy who just got separated from his wife of ten years decided he wanted to drive halfway across the country to meet some 14 year old he met online. Needless to say, they had sex, supposedly with alcohol and pills involved, he got arrested, and the main point the media had to make was:

    “It was reported that when police came to arrest him, he was found wearing a dress and women’s underwear.”

    Ok, ok, obviously this guy’s a perv. But somehow, methinks that this has nothing to do with wearing a dress, and now the obvious corollary in peoples’ minds will be: “Guys who wear dresses are after my teenage daughters.” This is precisely the kind of exposure that we as crossdressers need.

    It’s now irrelevant to the entirety of society as to whether or not this guy was a genuine crossdresser or not (*and by this, I just mean whether or not he does it regularly, or has the same “urges” the rest of us do). All that matters is that guys who wear dresses are clearly perverts and we need to be feared and ostracized further.

    I think here though that we’re forgetting the way that so many of even our sisters and brothers act towards people within our own groups, too, though. Too often we have passable transgendered picking on non-passable ones as if they’re doing some sort of damage to the rest of the group.

    While I’ve had my own opinions about people who seem to be mentally ill, the ones with full beards and a flower print dress who insist on being called “Sir” for example, I generally say anyone who actually tries should be given a modicum of respect.

    1. Thanks for sharing that, Kathryn. Yes, it is very sad how society views and treats differences in personal expression when gender lines are crossed. It’s even more disturbing how the news usually treats it – always looking for that freak-show angle to really sell the story… and in the process, get us ALL looked at like a bunch of perverts. So nice of them to do that, just to up their ratings… and perhaps even perpetuate the hate they feel themselves. Of course, hate is generally considered ok and “normal” in the eyes of society. For many, it is more “normal” to hate people like us than to accept us or even ponder the reality that most of us are in fact normal.

  2. I look at society’s definition of normal, and frankly want no part of it.

    Aside from the bastard that was caught in women’s clothing after raping a 14 year old, most such molesters are completely “normal” looking.

    As are most thieves, murderers, crooked business people, and so on.

    What is it the neighbors of the mass murderer say. “he was such a quiet man” “He seemed perfectly normal to me” and so on.

    People who have screwed me out of money have been wearing a suit and tie.

    I love it how in our media we are encouraged to strike out on our own, do our own thing and so on and so forth. Think for yourself, think critically, and yet very few actually do, and those that do are eyed with suspicion.

    It makes not one bit of sense.

    As far as the CD’s exposing body parts. On my flickr site there are pics I call “risque”. In a couple I am in hose and bra, and shoes, and that is it. The poses are not much different than what you would see in a fashion mag, or in the pantyhose aisle. There is another restricted set where I am getting into my disco jeans. I did my absolute best to keep it tasteful, but still felt I may be transgressing a barrier, hence my making them restricted.

    That being said. When I see the absolute garbage that some CDers put out, or even just what “normal” people put out as moderate, I don’t feel so bad.

    I cannot tell you how many people have made me contacts that have no profile pic, or profile, but have plenty of pics of their junk.


    I barely like seeing women’s privates, I KNOW I don’t want to see some dude’s block and tackle!!!

    These dufases give us unusual people a bad image.

    On a similar note, I cringe at what society considers “normal”. It is either so dull your mind numbs, or it is just so offensive your mind explodes with rage. LOL

    What we need is for all CDers to all at once come out of the closet. Just hit the world in mass numbers. I think the Norms would be shocked at how many of us there are, and oh my god we are not molesters, rapists, or thieves.

    It would be cool to see some heads explode.

    1. I understand your frustrations on this, Pythos. Questioning what “normal” really is and means and whether or not it is a “good” thing is a valid concern. Pointing out “abnormalities” (note the quotes) is often how people try to shame thoughts, ideas, and people that they do not agree with. In this case, talking about “weird-o crossdressers” is often how “normal” people perpetuate the notion that there is something wrong with this particular form of expression or state of being. When people use these tactics, they often make reference to the poorest examples of humanity to give more weight to and reinforce their points.

      I’m sure you fully understood the point I was trying to make in writing this article, but perhaps further elaboration may be beneficial. It had little to do with what “normal” is and everything to do with the fact that I am an intelligent, functional, well rounded, “with-it” individual who’s feminine expression does not bring with it the (arguably) negative traits that have been witnessed in other crossdressers that my friend has known personally. If all one witnesses is negative attributes or behaviors in a particular type of person (such as a crossdresser), then it is understandable, how one may expect to see such negative traits in others. Transgenderism, in its various forms, is still quite a mystery to many (including many crossdressers themselves). My being a very sensible, well rounded person who also happened to be trans, equated to the observation that, to my friend, I am “normal” rather than “having problematic issues”, or “not normal”. Again, I fully understand your frustration with “normal” and how society treats the concept there of, but in this case, it’s just a matter of semantics. :) Admittedly you, I, and many others hate the term “normal” but sometimes it’s just easier/simpler to express thoughts by using such terminology in context of those thoughts.

      I agree, if ALL trans folk (who are still in the closet, in full or in part) were to come out of the closet, and society could finally witness just how many of us there really are, it might greatly quicken elimination of the negative social stigma attached and the unfair classification of it being “not normal”. Football players, police, rocket scientists, doctors, teachers, animal trainers, entrepreneurs, high-paid business executives, celebrities, etc. – the list is truly endless. Trans folk occupy just about every facet of life, both the positive and negative, just like any other generalized group of the population. It is unlikely there will be a great big “come out” day anytime soon, though. It is currently impossible to stage such a thing, and good or bad, some people will simply want to remain in the closet for their own personal reasons.

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