Tag Archives: lgbtq

I’m Trans, I Don’t Pass, and Christmas Shopping at the Mall is a Breeze

Gabrielle in car 2012-12-20Almost daily, I hear accounts of transgender people having a difficult time in public, often being disparaged, laughed at, or otherwise treated poorly/different just for being trans. It used to be that way with me, too. It wasn’t long ago that I also experienced being laughed at and disparaged. Today however, it’s a pretty rare occurrence.

Christmas shopping is a pretty common activity. Most people do it, and their biggest complaint is finding a parking space. I’m happy to say that on this particular day, I had little trouble finding a good parking space at a local mall, packed as it was.

The reason I’m posting this is to draw attention to the very positive experiences I have out in public, and why I believe no one gives me a hard time anymore.

Passing isn’t everything
Within the very diverse transgender community, there is some debate as to whether or not it’s important, or even desirable to pass (ie: to look like a cisgender person; to not look trans). Some feel it is very important to pass, others don’t care, some don’t want to, and there are even those who look down upon trans people who do, want to, or go out of their way to pass.

Personally, I do want to pass. I want to look like an attractive cisgender woman to the rest of the world. There is no shame in being transgender. I’m rather proud to be trans and plan to continue speaking publicly to educate about trans realities. For me it’s a vanity thing, and I don’t care what anyone thinks of my desire to pass – good or bad.
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Recognition for a Mother and Her Transgender Daughter (Me)

Volunteers of the Month: Cille Haley and Gabrielle Hermosa

The December/January issue of The Empty Closet is honoring a mother and her transgender daughter for their volunteer work with the Gay Alliance and efforts to make the world a better place. If you haven’t figured it out yet, that’s my mother and I. :)

From coming out to volunteering
On January 16, 2014, I came out to my mother as a trans woman. Earlier that day, I had just completed my second (or third?) public presentation about LGBTQ awareness and education. Mom took the news rather well, commenting: “I always wanted to have a daughter!”.

She had a lot of questions about what it means to be transgender. We talked for about 2 or 3 hours the day I came out. Eager to gain more insight about her trans daughter and learn as much as she could about the diversity within the LGBTQIA, Mom started volunteering at the Gay Alliance as an office worker.
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Meeting Laverne Cox and Attending Her Inspirational Talk

Gabrielle and Laverne Cox on October 18, 2014

On Saturday, October 18, 2014, I had the opportunity to attend a talk given by Laverne Cox at the University of Rochester. Prior to her talk, I was among a group of people to have a photo taken with her. My excitement level was through the roof and I was filled with gratitude!

Meeting Laverne Cox
When it was my turn to have my photo taken with Laverne, I entered the room where they were handling the pictures. Laverne was over to the right and I immediately went up to her and thanked her for all she’s done to raise positive awareness and educate people about transgender realities. “Your welcome.”, she replied.
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Rochester Pride 2014 Parade & Festival, from Fear to Cheer

Gabrielle in Pride Parade 2014-07-19
Image credit: unknown

Friday, July 18 through Sunday, July 20, I experienced my first (ever) Pride festival and parade. For three days, I was high on life, low on sleep, and filled with love, gratitude, and an emotional bliss I’m not sure how to describe. It was beautiful, just beautiful!

The photo above was taken on Saturday, July 19. That’s me in the top row, 4th from the left, flashing “I love you” in sign language. Not only did I attend my first Pride Parade, but I was also in it, riding on the first ever official transgender float to grace the RocPride Parade. Represented were several trans organizations, including: The Q Center (Syracuse, NY), Genesee Valley Gender Variants (Rochester, NY), Trans* Alliance of Greater Rochester (TAGR), and the Transgender Alliance of Central New York.

I’m trans and proud! So how is it that I attended my first Pride event at the age of 43? In a nutshell, I’m a late bloomer. It took quite some time to fully figure out who and what I Am. Better late than never. Let’s face it – many people never do truly figure themselves out, regardless of gender identity. I very much wanted to attend RocPride in 2013, but…
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Speaking About Transgender Realities at the University of Rochester

This past Saturday, March 22, 2014, I had an opportunity to speak about transgender realities at the University of Rochester. It was my 6th time talking publicly about transgender awareness and education.

A long time ago, in a hospital far, far away…
I start by telling my personal story: from birth to where I am today. It’s limited to key points in my life as they pertain to growing up different (trans) in a world that demands conformity and punishes those who fall outside “social norms”.

Some rather painful and emotionally devastating moments are shared. In contrast, I incorporate humor to keep things fresh, fun, and prevent the audience from loosing interest.
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First Time Talking LGBTQ Education in Front of a Live Audience

Gabrielle, Dec. 12, 2013In late November, I attended a 2-day SpeakOUT Workshop to learn how to be an effective public speaker. It was just the first step in my ongoing training. Last week, I was given an opportunity to put my training to use for the first time.

An opportunity
Jeanne Gainsburg, a straight alley, Outreach Coordinator and Education Director at the GAGV, asked if I would be willing to assist with a 2 hour SafeZone presentation for the staff of a local halfway house. Delighted and honored, I agreed to help out.

The GAGV SafeZone program was created to “develop, enhance and maintain environments in workplaces, schools and other social settings that are culturally competent and supportive to LGBTQ individuals, as well as straight identified people who care about diversity, equality and inclusion.” Providing real-life perspective with the “T” end of things (transgender), was myself and a trans man I’ll refer to as “Brad” (not his real name). We took turns telling our personal life-stories and struggles involved growing up trans in a non-trans-friendly world. Even though I only met Brad for the first time just minutes before the presentation started, we made a rather effective tag-team during the Q & A portion.

Most of the presentation was handled by Jeanne. She did an excellent job presenting information, including the audience in group participatory learning activities, keeping things moving along at a good pace, and answering questions along the way. She’s been at this for 10 years and I enjoyed observing her in action while taking mental notes to learn from.

An interesting observation
While Jeanne was giving the main presentation, I stood several feet over to her right, visible to the halfway house staff. My focus shifted back and forth from observing Jeanne’s presentation and observing the counseling staff, curious to see what I could read from their facial expressions, in regard to how engaged or not engaged they were. My eyes met with many of the staff members as I scanned the room. Interestingly, they quickly looked away, breaking eye-contact.
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