Thank You For Noticing I’m Normal

the "normal" Cleaver family eating their "normal" dinner

What exactly is normal? Being a crossdresser, most of society would consider me to be anything but normal. Sadly, that assessment is entirely based on my preferred choice of outward appearance. Compared to the Cleaver family of 1950′s sitcom “everyday normal family” fame, do I really look so terrible?

We live in a society that preaches “don’t judge a book by its cover” and tells us diversity is a good thing, but there are widely accepted limits to both. I’m not sure exactly where the line is drawn, but it falls well short of accepting someone like me as “normal”.
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Crossdressing Myth #4: It Is a Mental Illness

crossdressing myths

“A man dressed up like a woman?? Why… he MUST be crazy! This man needs help! He should be institutionalized! Hurry – get him off the street before anyone else catches this terrible mental disease!” Oh please. This attitude and severe lack of knowledge is so pre-1950′s. Crossdressing is a mental illness, babies come from storks, and the world is flat, right?

Myth: Crossdressers are mentally ill and that is why they have the urge to crossdress. Fact: Although it is possible for a mentally ill person to also be a crossdresser, crossdressing is not the result of a mental illness, but rather one of many personal traits that some people have genetically woven into them. This particular trait just happens to be widely misunderstood and have a social stigma attached to it.
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Getting Busted and Learning to Hate Myself

crying on bed

It seems like a million years ago and just yesterday at the same time. I was 12 years old and it was undoubtedly the single most traumatic event of my youth. The devastating emotional impact lasted for many years after.

I first realized my desire to dress in women’s clothes at about the age of 3 or 4. I didn’t know what it all meant, but I knew enough to keep it a secret. It’s interesting that even at such a young age, the social taboo of crossdressing was already heavily cemented in my mind. It seems like from the time I was born, I was taught of the need to fit in to the socially accepted norm of the “male gender role” because of my sex. How else would a 4 year old know to guard this little secret as if his life depended on it?
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Until Society Has Their Way With Them

I had very troubled teen years. Sure, most teens have their struggles, but I was an emotional wreck who couldn’t fit in socially to save my life and suffered from chronic depression. As a result, my parents sent me to a psychiatrist. It did me good and I leaned a lot about myself. I eventually chose to discontinue therapy after realizing that I was just going to him to complain about my life rather than work through my problems. In more than a decade of therapy, I never told him I was a crossdresser. The whole time, I was in fact in denial about it myself. After all, society frowns heavily on such things.
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Always Listen to the Voice of Wisdom

Sooner or later, it happens to most of us. We acquire that voice of reason and wisdom in our head. It’s there to make sure we don’t screw up our lives too badly. We go about each day doing our thing. When choices pop up, our conscious mind may be going in one direction, but there’s that voice of wisdom in the back of our head directing us toward the more sensible and intelligent path. I like to call my voice of wisdom: “TVOW” (TEE-vow).

Interpersonal relationships are complex and often fragile things. The complexity level differs from relationship to relationship. Obviously a superficial relationship does not hold much in terms of its complexity, but a close friendship and love can be so complex that rocket science seems easier to understand in comparison.
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